Vicarious Rocky

Staycation

2011-03-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

Long ago but not forgotten. This year's Staycation had Alexandra as a special guest. We did all the local kid crap -- Chuck E. Cheese, Science Center, Romp and Stomp.

Holly Visits!

2011-01-29T06:47:00.000-08:00

A Happy Birthday Holly visit this year. Indy adores her and the pictures show why -- Chutes and ladders and lava balloon for starters. But Holly will always be his first love. He even asked, after a brief chat about marriage, when Holly's fiancée Alex would die. It's good to plan for your future.

Holly also participated in the Hickey very merry un-birthday celebration. Then the next day the kids went bowling, and I have posted Indy's "Agony of Defeat" photo, which happened when he gutter balled even with the gutter guards in place.

New Years

2011-01-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

We were all under the weather, but we trudged out into the weather for our new New Year's tradition - First Night in Akron. Crafts, Live Music, Magic Shows, Plays, Ice Skating, and Fireworks. It can't be beat. And, of course, the $5 glowy spinny thing is always required.

In other news, Indy is falling more in love with his "boring friends." While cousin Alexandra waltzed in day one and starting picking them up, Indy has only just now gotten brave enough to do this and it makes him really happy.

Christmas

2011-01-29T06:20:00.000-08:00

Here's some Christmas Pictures!

First, the annual stuff picture. Indy was not game for the photo this year.

Here is Indy unwrapping one of his favorites - the Mad Magazine Spy Vs. Spy comic book.

Xmas at Grammy's house on the 26th. The boys were admiring some new posters.

XMas day at Nana's house. Happy matching kids. This year's kid-clothes theme was purple. Nana's house theme was red and white.

Happy for the camera gifts!

Happy Hickeys!

Excuses, Excuses

2011-01-29T06:18:00.000-08:00

You ever going to blog again, Rocky? OK, Here's my schedule:

6:45 wake up

7:00 Launch Morning school routine

8:00 Go to School

8:45 Get Home / Make Coffee

9:00 - 1:00 Write

1:00 - Shower

1:30 - Eat

2:00 - Do chores / errands / clean / etc.

2:45 - Get Indy

3:30 - Play with Indy

5:00 - Make dinner

6:00 - Eat Dinner

6:45 - Kid Bath

7:15 - Kid TV

7:45 - 8:30 - Kid to Bed

8:30-9 - Read News

9:00 - Sleep

Now sometimes, I write until 2:00, then shower and eat and skip the chores. Sometimes I write until 2:45 and I am dirty and hungry when I get Indy. 2 days a week Grammy gets Indy and so I get to write more or catch up on those chores or grocery shop or exercise. But, see where blogging comes in? It doesn't. Weekend mornings. But I have to write Holly. And I should be doing my taxes right now. But I can't look at nutcracker pictures another second longer.

Nutcracker Time

2010-12-14T15:50:00.000-08:00

Nana takes the kids to the ballet at X-mas time. I get invited too. Indy said he liked it "a lot." Here's some pictures!

Kid in fancy clothes #1

Kid in fancy clothes #2

Kid in fancy clothes #3

Nikki and Alexandra

Me in a kid huddle

Nana says "Uh Oh."

Nana gets a kiss attack

Cute kids

I'm getting preachy

2010-12-09T06:36:00.000-08:00

. . . about education reform. I have already posted this lecture on Facebook twice, but I'll throw it over here for fun too. Former smokers are often the worst critics, the least tolerant, of smokers. Such is the case for me and traditional education. I opted out of the club and now I can't stop seeing what's wrong with it. Ultimately, I am probably just experiencing sour grapes. My boy does not excel in this system and so, suddenly, I have a problem with the system.

But in defense of the bigger picture, the system, as a whole, is leaving more then just Indy behind and is ultimately not serving the country as it might. I will also say that I have a niece that is doing very well in public education and will most likely be the ultimate academic, but I also see her 6-year-old-self doing 20 minutes of worksheets every night, and I have to wonder, is this really the best we can do for bright kids that "can" manage this system? Don't they also deserve better?

Apology to Sophie

2010-12-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention Sophie was part of the Thanksgiving fun this year at the Hickey household. She was a little upset that she was overlooked and so I wanted to speak directly to her here with a nice recap.

Hey Soph!

Nice seeing you again, dear. We have so many things in common -- we both love cookies, children, and early bedtimes. I also leave my hair laying around and sleep better on the couch then in "my" bed. Remember that time that big storm blew in over the 4th of July at the lake and you got all drunk and passed out? Ah good times. I was going to post that pic on facebook and then I thought maybe you'd try and get a job or your Mom would see it. Anyhoo.

Thanks for letting the kids hand feed you all that kibble over Thanksgiving. Man, you are way more patient than me with those two bossy butts -- Sit, stay, lay down, come here, let me pet you, come downstairs, hold still, walk with me . . . well, you remember. Also too bad Barb and Earl caught onto to that whole -- I don't want to eat this crap food, but I would like to go out and then have a cookie -- plan. But hey, it took them like 3 whole cookies, right? So high five on that really.

Psst. I have a secret to tell you. After you left, Barb and Earl printed out all this stuff from online about dogs. Yep. Like what kinds are nicest and good with kids and stuff. You're representing the species really well, obviously. Although, they had like 6 pages on Border Collies. Whatever. They're just going through a phase. Trying to be different. It'll blow over.

I hear you got a boat! Practice your jumping up in Michigan. Here's how. Get on the couch, front paws on the arm rest, count to three and then up and over. I'd say 5-10 times a day.

Hope Santa gets you a new duck. Your old one was starting to sound a little satanic. Alright dear, see you when the snow melts.

Love, cousin Mel

November was Fun!

2010-12-02T06:12:00.000-08:00

And went fast. There was the Indy family party, some hot tubing, school stuff, and Thanksgiving. Relive it with me now, through pictures.

Indy gets closer to being a swimmer every month. Now he can go underwater without the Goggles. And doesn't need to wipe his face with a towel every time either.

Having cats is still super fun and Indy is finding new ways to play with his pets that he once referred to as "boring friends." Turns out Orange cat is the active one that plays most with Indy. They discovered they both really enjoy the marble run -- one from the inside and one from the outside.

The cats also met Rocco during a dog sitting stint. Poor guy is old and decrepit and cannot chase said cats. Rocco didn't know what to do with them when they didn't run. In this moment, Orange cat told him to back off and sad little Rocco did as he was told.

Next came Thanksgiving. Pat and Bill came from Maryland to stay with Clayde and my folks had everyone over on Thanksgiving day. Lovely dinner, fun conversation, and it's always great to see Bill and Pat!

The kids were at Thanksgiving too, although no one saw much of them. Here they are captured in a brief sitting moment with Aunt Nikki and her cute new hair.

6th Birthday Part 2

2010-11-13T05:13:00.001-08:00

Indy's family party was lovely this year. His sense of humor is coming out and it's as I would expect -- subtle and totally obtuse. He insisted on a "Freeze Loser" football themed birthday cake (he does not actually know what football is and has been seen often kicking a football); he got his second pair of under-roos (he danced around happily in the first pair he got) and tossed the second pair on the floor dramatically and rudely. And as for "Freeze Loser" this is what passes for clever around here in his mind along with statements like, "I love you so much I could kick you in the face." I think these kinds of things get laughs with the 5 something crowd. As do singing Ke$ha songs, which he is fond of memorizing. I feel for the kid adopted from Russia that got sent back. That woman would have definitely sent Indy packing. ;-)

Every once in awhile I consider trying to clamp down on the weird, but why? I am supposing it could grow into something akin to . . . Serial Killer? Tim Burton? One can't guess. But his new teacher tells me he is very kind and has made deep personal connections with a few of his classmates. She said, "It is something I rarely see in children his age." So that makes his parents happy. As did his question to the 13 year old neighbor boy 2 days ago (who had been sick last week), "Are you feeling better now, Nigel?"

Anyway, Indy is 6, and I'm obviously very proud of him. I love his uniqueness, and I even love that the kid with a big heart thinks putting the phrase, "kick you in the face," at the end of random sentences passes for humor.

Happy birthday buddy!

Kid Birthday Party . . . Check

2010-11-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

I went to about 5 kid birthday parties last year. Oh yeah, Indy was there too. ;-) He started requesting his own shortly thereafter and I was still working at the time and there was no way I was going to be able to pull off anything beyond Romp and Stomp's boring $15 a head experience. So, throwing an elaborate kid party was exactly the kind of shit I wanted time to do after slinking away from SageRock. So, behold! Happy 6th birthday to Indiana and welcome to 15 of his "closest" friends.

I'm 37 . . . wait, what?

2010-10-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know, bad blogging practices. Well, let me start by recapping October. Sage had a birthday. He's the old one. ;-) 39! We've been married 14 years. It's been awesome. We're a great pair, if I do say so myself. After this we headed out of town -- me off to Holly's for wedding prep! Yeah Holly and Alex! Sage went off to Chicago for business. Then on to Indy birthday preparations. This kid is going to have one kick ass party!

School is wonderful. It's hard to explain Waldorf education to people, so I don't try to beyond saying that he's at a hippie artsy parochial school, essentially. OK, clearly I am uninspired by blogging lately what with this laundry list of latest activities. It's the creative writing. It sucks up all my writing mojo.

I have joined a critique group and they seem to like my second draft pretty well thus far. I am hoping to have it completed by September 2011 and then start the process of shopping it around. I am three chapters in after 4 weeks of work and have probably 15 to go.

So there it is . . . year 37: I spend all my free time dabbling in fiction writing, hanging with Indy & Sage, being a house Frau, and volunteering at school. Sounds boring when down on paper, but I'm really blissed out. I feel like a free agent with a peaceful life and heaps of random fortune. Tah-Dah!

OK, that is all. Perhaps I can get inspired to blog again a bit sooner.

My Morning

2010-09-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

Except it was a paper bag. :-)

Kitten Kaboodle

2010-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

We got some cats -- two little boy litter mates all packaged up (shots, no worms, no fleas, socialized, and spayed) and ready to come home. Names: Crazy and Chicken. What did you expect Indiana, Sage and Rocky to name their cats? Fluffy and Coco? Come on now.

Crazy loves Indy, which makes sense because only a mildly insane, fearless kitten would love a rambunctious 5-yr-old. The orange tabby started out a bit, well, Chicken, but has warmed right up and is not letting me work much today for all the purring and cuddling here at the computer.

Pictures!

Here's Crazy. You see it in the eyes, yes?

He hates to sleep but eventually the eyes close on their own.

Indy called Chicken, "The Pretty One"

He's cute too

They say grooming is love. "Hold still. You've got something in your ear."

September = Back to Busy

2010-09-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

I guess the back-to-school vibe is pervasive to all. Sage is having an intense few weeks at SageRock, Indy is getting used to school, and I am getting back to writing.

It's early to deduce, but it seems we made a good choice in schools for Indy. He may just be older now, but he has never talked this much or this fondly about school.

He only has the "what I did at school" conversation once a day (usually at dinner or on the drive home), but the lucky listener gets about 10-20 minutes of news. Yesterday Sage heard the step by step instructions on making bread -- they do this on Wednesdays. Then at dinner we heard all about the "blessing" they give before snack time (yes, Waldorf's are kind of a non denominational parochial school). I heard a long story about nap time silliness with a boy named Sam. And he keeps bringing home pictures that are gifts from other children.

Sage and I agreed last night -- we're not thinking he'll need to be in language therapy this year.

My Kindergartner

2010-09-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Big boy with new, beloved lunch box

They wear "rain" gear every day in the playground (called the meadow) because it's actually a dew covered meadow, creek, and forest area.

The Meadow

Creek, currently dry

Having fun in one of the playhouses

Troll under the playground bridge

Oh look, a bug!

Goodbye sweetheart

Cue Caroline / Our Alexandra stand in

Caroline's little sister says, "Wait!"

Have fun little ones

Camping!

2010-09-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

We love camping with Alexandra. She is the pesto mayo on a fabulous chicken sandwich. She's not technically required, but it's just not the same without her. This time we got Nikki too! It was wonderful. We went to Kelly's Island State Park because Sage and I love the beach there. The town is sweet too. We think it's worth the Ferry ride.

Day one was pancake breakfast, golf cart ride, beach, dinner in town, mini golf, campfire. Day two was just all beach.

Ferry Ride

Free Kool-aid stand netted these kids $2

Sand Work

My Raft Motor

Dinner Out

Camping, School, Camping!

2010-08-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

We're off to Kelly's Island, this time with Alexandra, meaning it will be twice as fun. Then school starts Wednesday, then we're back to camping up at the Sandusky KOA for some quality Cedar Point time.

Went to the parent orientation for school yesterday and I am even more confident now in our decision to Waldorf this little kid of ours. He is in a Kindergarten class with 18 kids total, but many kids are 3 day a week or half day or both. So they have it organized brilliantly. Mon and Tues. he is only with full day older children in his class (like himself). So Mon and Tues there are 6 kids his age, one teacher, all day. WThF everyone is there, two teachers, then over half go home at noon, leaving 10ish kids there. I am thrilled at all the one on one he is going to get and all the small group time with the kids his age that will go on to class one with him next year. This is just what my kid needs.

Old School:
1:20 teacher:student ratio
60% of day spent on academics (math and letters)
2 - 20 minute recesses
20-30 minutes homework

New School:
1:9 teacher:student ratio
No overtly taught academics (focus still on motor, language and social skills + creativity)
3 - 30-40 minute recesses
No homework

The fear everyone has with Waldorf is that all this relaxing is going to make their kid an idiot who can't read and write. That since Indy will be seven when someone formally sits him down to letter people, he will miss some kind of magic window and be reading and writing more slowly in Jr. High. It's absurd of course. The brilliance is that they don't have to teach for standardized tests and so, they can wait and do what is developmentally appropriate for the largest number of children. And if Sally the Superstar reads and writes at home, that's completely cool. But Indy won't have to read in front of Sally until he's 8 and can do it, therefore not forever branding him as an idiot. I like it. Now, Sally may want to scratch her eyes out in class, but that's not my problem. Her parents should have looked into Old Trail.

OK, enough of that. :-)

Still Alive

2010-08-21T07:54:00.001-07:00

Hello remaining 4 readers! Yeah, sorry about my summer blogging. I have been SO busy vacationing. ;-) I haven't written much. I worked for half a second for SageRock while Sage was in New Orleans. But mostly I have been on my own little summer break -- cooking, planning fun, playing with my boys, and doing the occasional unnecessary project.

After Marblehead, we bought a Hot Tub, Sage took Gulf Oil spill pics, I joined him for a weekend getaway, Jamie came next, and then we went to Pittsburgh and the Grand Canyon of PA with friends. I got to see Holly while on that vacation, which was a major highlight. Now, we're in the midst of recovering from 2 consecutive colds and "preparing" for school. Which means buying a few supplies, taking a few practice AM trips to the school playground, shifting meal times, and trying to get the kid into the bed by 8:30.

Here's some pics from my absent online month.

Hot Tub!

Indy loves Jamie and wanted to pull his hair into a pony tail for about a week after his visit.

Indy loves Science Centers

Foosball against a computer. We lost.

Spent one day in Penn. searching for this.

Hanging with the girls in the PA creek.

Marblehead OH Trip

2010-07-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Midwestern Resort towns hold a special place in my heart. They're about B- fun with an A for effort experience. Tacky, often old fashioned, amazing friendly, and relaxed. Rich people abound and yet there's no "class" anywhere. Between a smattering of the WalMarts and Wendys you have all these original and unique tourist businesses. Some of them amaze, some downright depress, but they all add to the ambiance and bustle. No need to ask, "Where can I get some fudge in this town?" when you're at a Midwestern vacation spot. I mean, where can't you get some fudge?

Alright, enough talk. Here's the pictures:

Chilling at the South Beach Resort. The cabins are an awesome place for families. Great view of the lake and the pools were much appreciated during our 90 degree + week.

Then we went out for a Sailboat Charter. Indy loved it and Capt. Ron let Poppie drive.

We went to the Lighthouse, of course. Oh look! It's very small.

We had to check out Mystery Hill and the Prehistoric Forest as it is it's last year. Glad we did. Mystery Hill was impressive and the forest was a trip through a vacation time machine.

Then we went to Put-in-Bay. The Ferry horn was loud. So was the town, but we had fun. Went shopping, to lunch, Perry's Cave and the Remote control raceway.

Camping with Holly!

2010-07-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

Evangola State Park is on the NY State budget's chopping block. It's one of those places that inspires and depresses you all at the same time. I get a sense that it might have been a tourist destination at one point, but now no one bothers to pay the $6 a person to access a remote, somewhat rocky beach that is exactly an hour away from everywhere you may have heard of in Western NY.

That said, we LOVED it! Because, well, we Lewis' and our adopted international Au pair are easy going, glass-half-full summer folk.

Here we are doing the old fashioned thing where you pose next to the adored vehicle. And the party van is much adored:

Here is my son playing near the frightening, gorgeous, raw surf. It was 5 days after this that a 5-yr-old boy drown in similar waves at a Lake Huron beach. That child, like mine, was picking up rocks and throwing them in. But the boy that died ventured in up to his knees. I am thankful for my cautious boy.

For contrast, the next day it was completely still water as seen here. I can see why this is not a developed tourist area if only because the beaches are so exposed to the treachery of lake Erie -- no bays or sandbars in sight.

This is Holly and I doing what we do best together -- laughing.

And here are my boys looking gorgeous.

History of 15 Broad Street, Akron, Ohio

2010-06-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

"It was in clay that Akron found its first important export product." So says H. Karl Butler in the Clay Products chapter of A Centennial History of Akron 1825-1925. SageRock’s new home at 15 Broad Street was built to accommodate this booming industry in a booming town.

In the mid 1800s, Middlebury, Ohio, eventually annexed to Akron, was the center of the clay products industry thanks to clay beds and two companies -- Hill, Merrill and Co., and Whitmore, Robinson & Co. These big players and many other smaller companies specialized in kitchen ware, but as Ohio cities sprung up, so did the need for city-wide sanitation. This demand inspired those involved in these larger companies (investors, owners, family) to start new companies that specialized in making clay sewer pipe.

In the 1890s, The Akron Sewer Pipe Company of Akron, Ohio, was the largest provider of glazed vitrified clay pipe for the United States. This company built our building at 15 Broad Street in 1913. It was most likely a small pattern shop. In fact, the whole 900 block area of E Exchange consisted of small "brick shops" that created products from clay.

The view across the street shortly after our building was built

Most were bought up by larger firms like The Akron Sewer Pipe Company, which later changed its name to the American Vitrified Products company. American Vitrified Products ran a shop in our building until moving operations in 1936, most likely to its Michigan plant in Grand Ledge MI (which closed in 1966).

The 15 Broad building was vacant for two years starting in 1936, until in 1938; a three-some of investors started an oddly-named hospital in the building. "Just-A-Mere-Home & Hospital" was only in business for 5 years before being bought by a group of doctors. Here's the quote from the Summa Health Systems “About Us” webpage:
"Summa Western Reserve Hospital traces its roots to 1943, when a small group of osteopathic physicians and surgeons in Akron purchased and renovated a building at 15 Broad Street that had formerly housed the East Akron Community Hospital."

Well, "East Akron Community Hospital" seems to be what the locals renamed the wacky-sounding Just-A-Mere-Home & Hospital. This general sounding nickname has also led to some confusion in Middlebury as some believe the building was part of the original Akron General, formerly named "People's Hospital." It does look a bit like the nursing school (built in 1914) that was attached to People's Hospital.

People's Hospital (w/ Nurses school [not 15 Broad])

But the new Hospital that opened in the place of Just-A-Mere-Home & Hospital was called Green Cross Hospital. The Green Cross docs moved out of Akron to break ground on a new building in Cuyahoga Falls in 1953 and 15 Broad stood vacant from 1954-56. That's when AdCraft Typography Inc. moved in and leased space to a binding company for a year before taking over the whole building. They did some work for the Akron Beacon Journal along with others in need of typesetting and left our building in 1974. I found some evidence online that they sold themselves to a large marketing company.

AdCraft crafts their own YellowPage ad in 1958

The building was vacant then again for its longest period from 1974-1982 until a local insurance agency moved into the space -- Carey Co. Insurance. As far as I can tell, they went out of business when they vacated the property in 1996. The place was vacant for about 3 years and then Jim Grant Jr. bought it. The rest is recent history.

It was then sold to Wendy Gardenhire who started the Louvre Salon where I used to get my hair cut in the first few years of the 21st century (like how I made that into history there). I always coveted the building's gorgeous windows, woodwork, and high ceilings. Wendy couldn't make a go of the salon and leased the building to a different salon that couldn't make a go of it. Then she sold the building to a real estate broker from California who, thanks to the Recession, found himself stuck with a far away, vacant historical building.

It was a tough building to rent -- full of salon stuff, zoned retail and commercial, at a great location technically (the coming together of Exchange and Market and Arlington) and yet in what is politely called a "transitioning" neighborhood. It proved even tougher to sell as there is nothing comparable nearby on which to base pricing of an 8000 sq. ft historic manufacturing plant and hospital. That's where we come in.

Formerly housed in the historic Ice and Coal Warehouse (a barely renovated building from the same time period) SageRock Inc. had no problem visualizing its offices in the lofty open spaces at 15 Broad Street. And the rest is, well, history.

Here are some pics of the inside of the building as it is currently in 2009.

Earl Turned 66

2010-06-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

Way back last month in May, we all threw a surprise party for my Dad, who turned 66. I've been a lazy blogger this summer, but wanted to get a few pictures up.

Best Camping Trip EVER

2010-06-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

Seems we're turning into Lake Erie shore people. We went camping at the Kelleys Island State park expecting it to a bit rustic as State Parks can be. Wow! Wrong! It was a miniature, uncrowded paradise. Mostly tent people (too expensive to haul the RV on the Ferry) with their bikes to go into town. The beach was pristine and uncrowded. They had cheap kayak rental and the boys went out for an hour in the bay. The bathrooms were well kept. There is a constant refreshing breeze. Lovely little playground. Shaded spacious camp sites. Little store almost on premises if you forget anything. And then a quick drive or bike ride into town where Indy believed there was a "party" because that was how it felt. Live music everywhere, mini golf and ice cream and airbrush tattoos and tacky little shops. I imagine it's like a mini Key West feel. A fabulous place for drinkers except adapted a bit to accommodate family's w/kids. Anyway, loved it. Pictures in black and white and sepia, which I believe make us look like Kennedys.

Sneak Attack

Retaliation

Important Engineering Work

Engineering Consultant

Lunch in town

Yeah Nikki!

2010-06-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

She's not just a great Sister in Law, she's also my ticket into Romanian celebrations. SCORE! Ghita and Georgiana got married and bless their hearts the guest list was huge enough to include the in-laws of their cousin. Fabulous. Homemade food, open bar, and dancing, dancing, dancing! Dancing outside, dancing inside, and rumor has it dancing until 2am (we could only hang until midnight [Indy's fault]). Oh wait! I almost forgot to mention the terrorists! The dollar dance has nothing on this overseas tradition of a gang of terrorists stealing the bride and ransoming her back to loved ones. Cha-Ching! You know, with the CIA & Military drones flying around, I would be a bit hesitant to do this tradition across the pond, but hey, what do I know!

Picture time . . .

Terrorists! (note the bottle of Jack [this makes all terrorists seem less threatening])

The Happy Couple (He looks like he just won the lottery!)

Another Happy Couple

Cute Cousins

Reverence at Church

Don't know where he gets it

Photographer

I Love Alex

Even when she's too grumpy to eat

Someone sees the photographer

Pulp Fiction Dancing

Polka Dots

Unwilling portrait participant

I'd like to just be brilliant

2010-05-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

Is that so much to ask? Why must I work at things I want to achieve? Bah. Round two of judging comments are in for the book synopsis/writing sample and overall results are similar. One judge Loved it and made it a finalist! The other two, not so much. But, we're not talking start over type criticism. Just, "get back to work" feedback. I guess I can't write a book in 4 months and launch a career. Noted.

Two more contests to work towards . . . due in August. Then I get the feedback and start putting it out there "for real." I am grumpy about not being a "natural" at this and having to work hard, but this has really been a great process.

And the two judges from the separate contests that really like the work so far have been huge ego boosters. I mean, these 2 people don't know me. They have no reason to soft pedal criticism and say they really like it. It's not like my Mommy was a judge. Right Mom? You're not judging these right? ;-)

Back to work. I am now officially embarking on draft 2.

Picture Time!

2010-05-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Lot's of fun stuff has gone on in April and the beginning of May. And what better way to share then with the photos.

Jenn and Myles came for a Visit

Alexandra had her Preschool Concert

She was happy to see Indy and this makes Indy VERY Happy

They got to have Ice Cream and Brain Freeze

We went for a nature walk on Indy's favorite trail

Grandparents Day at School

Indy Ran the Kid's Marathon in Pittsburgh . . . Didn't like the start gun

Ran his Best

It was Worth the Reward

Cedar Point Pass or No?

2010-05-08T05:06:00.001-07:00

We're dedicated to camping this summer. Sage is working his ass off. Indy is talking all about Cedar Point.

On the one hand, we've done it. A Lot. It's getting to be like our local park over there. And it's about $350 for the all we can eat Cedar Fair experience. Indy is also a bit busy this summer with camp, 2 vacations, and some other odds and ends. We were thinking it'd be good to branch out, try some new camp grounds, or do other "stuff" whatever that may be.

On the other hand, it's seriously fun, especially the water park. Sage can work anywhere at the park and just needs a chair. We love camping up there which makes it an instantly entertaining and somewhat cheap getaway. Indy loves it and . . . is getting tall. By next year he may not be able to do the kiddie rides he loves and will be too young and chicken to do the bigger rides that his 90th percentile self will technically qualify for as a 6-yr-old. So we may be approaching a Cedar Point gap between kiddie fun and teenage fun.

Anyone want to weigh in?

Indy's School

2010-05-05T09:36:00.001-07:00

About three times a year, the circle time conversation sent home makes me shake my head and not in a good way. Every time this happens, I am reminded why this school is right for some and not for Indy. On one hand, it's my experience that expecting a lot of people can cause them to rise to the occasion and achieve new heights of accomplishments. It is also my experience that when the expectation seems to high to get to, hopes are dashed, esteem is crushed, and a gap of accomplishment forms between those that can rise and those that can not or will not.

Today's circle time was about reminders in regards to adhering to the busy and complicated routine of the OTS preschool classroom. Seems some kids are not adhering, need reminded, or maybe are even ignoring instruction. These children are being bad. These children will not do well next year because this sort of thing will not be tolerated in Kindergarten.

I know my kid is one of those that needs reminded because he has a lot of trouble staying focused in stimulating environments. He has been labeled easily distractable and often does not hear his name. He has filtering issues, it's true. And, if someone can guide me as to how one fosters focus amidst chaos, I'd love advice. Aside from exposure and practice (this school, karate, birthday parties, Mom's vigilance), I can only think to limit the stimulation when possible, so that he might also have success and feel the reward of focus.

Anyhow, kid chews his sleeve a lot when things get crazy and school is one of those wet sleeve inducing activities. Now, he can also know that this inability to focus makes him a bad kid destined for poor kindergarten performance.

I look forward to drier sleeves at his new school.

Indy's Back to BLU

2010-05-03T05:44:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if his love of these videos should concern me, but I think they're cool, so he gets to watch them. This one is long, but a double loop.

Akron is Awesome

2010-04-27T06:23:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in the life of a Yuppie where they're supposed to move. It's sometime before their 1st kid starts Kindergarten. You have been working for over 10 years, make more than your age, and it's time to move from that "starter" home in the city (or borderline not fabulous town) out to the burbs or country.

In my area it's Bath, Medina, Revere, Fairlawn and Stow. You sell your 3 bedroom place and choose a "neighborhood" with good schools where the kids can play and you can "stop worrying." I hear this story over and over and over. It's SO boring.

My street is brick and tree lined and there are 8 neighbor kids that come play together, often ball in the street. Our houses are all old, so we all sit on each other's porches and watch the kids -- keep the little ones safe, yell "CAR!" and mediate big kid disputes.

The best part about my street is the demographics. There are 13 houses - 3 are rentals and the rest are owner occupied. We have, in order, down and up street:
Evangelical Christian couple (Their house/yard is 2nd nicest)
College kid house
Single Mom College Professor w/ 2 kids and 4 outdoor cats
Lesbian Elementary School Teacher
Single Grandma w/ 4 dogs
Corporate Rich Couple w/ disabled daughter
3 apartment rental with 1) quiet hippe college girls 2) single divorced guy 3) hairdresser and friendly Christian ex-con boyfriend (former drug dealer (not sex offender, I checked).
Business Owners (us)
Grumpy 80-yr-old street veteran couple
Appliance repair guy and wife
Lawyer in DA's office
Web developer, hippe wife, 2 kids, 19 indoor pets
Gay elementary art teacher
Gay corporate executive (His house/yard is the nicest)

Anyway, how can you beat this? I can walk to Chipotle and the coffee shop and drug store. I am 5 minutes from the MetroParks. Can someone tell me why people want to live in a new development going up on Rt. 3 in Medina? Is it fear? Schools? New houses? If you live in a place like this, tell me why you chose it.

Writing Rambling

2010-04-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

I once read an article in a writing magazine about how contests were simply preying on writer's hope, collecting the submission fees, and then . . . I don't know, going on a cruise? I forget what this person's point was, but I have determined they were completely retarded or jaded, or both. I cannot believe people give up the kind of time that must be necessary to read and judge piles of marginal work from would-be writers. Whatever they get paid, it's not enough.

I have submitted my novice manuscript to 2 contests thus far and also a synopsis of it to another. 2 of my "results" are back via mail and email, and I honestly didn't expect feedback from either. I cannot believe they take time to tell me anything beyond, "Thank you, you are not the winner."

In the Romance contest, I was disqualified, as I expected, for the book not being a Romance. It was a bit off the formula, and I knew this was a formula driven industry, but it was only $50 bucks, so I figured what the hell. However, even though it wasn't a romance, they still read the first 15 pages and judged it and returned the scores to me. Crazy, eh? My averaged score was 6.5 on a scale of 1 of 10. I am thinking, that's what? A C+? I'll take it! But more encouraging than my slightly above average nod from judges was the score from Judge #5 - a 9. This means the world to me because even if this person was drunk when reading they liked it. And if one person (who doesn't know me) likes it, well, I am on my way. :-)

The other contest was for a one sheet (for agents I might meet at a conference) that summarizes the book. For this I was told:

"Your one sheet represents a compelling story idea. There is a nice balance between text and white space on the page, making it very easy to read. You also organized the information in a way that helps editors and agents quickly learn what they need to know about your book.

The only improvements the judges recommended were:
- Consider adding more color and graphical elements to the page in order to set it apart.
- Consider replacing the current picture you have with something more contemporary. At first glance, they thought it was a historical novel.
- Consider setting your bio and headshot apart in a side column so that it doesn't distract from the summary of your story."

So my take away from that was that the writing on the one sheet was viable, but I need to work on formatting. No sweat. Incidentally, that feedback was given for a submission fee of $15. I mean, seriously. In my old job, I wouldn't answer the phone for $15. Anyway. That's the update. I should have feedback from contest 3 in July and then deadline for submission to contest #4 is in August. Then the last contest I am entering (for this manuscript) has an October deadline. This is all very fun for me! Yeah me!

More Onion Fun

2010-04-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much what the news always sounds like when I watch it.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

We Went to Chicago

2010-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love that city. And we had a blast. When Sage asked if I wanted to join him on his latest business trip out there, I thought, "Ah, nah, I got stuff to do." Then I remembered Indy is in Preschool and I do NOT have stuff to do, so we promptly piled in the car and headed out. We took our Grammy. Fun was had by all.

We did the CityPass, which is a pack of tickets for 5 attractions. We did 3 of them and saved about $20 a piece on admission costs. If you did all five, you'd really clean up. Pictures!

Shedd Aquarium had a Submarine Model to play in. This is Indy, after leaving the sub to Scuba dive in the nearby "waters."

A windy walk to Pizza.

Ham on Turtle.

Hand in hand city walking.

The Apple Store! He thought it was Heaven. We had to go twice.

The Executive Suite Elevator (we got upgraded!) had a bench in it.

Happy Mom.

Easter Pictures

2010-04-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Egg Coloring at Grammy's House.

I know, let's just take the shirt off.

Easter with Nikki's family. They throw an excellent party.

Egg Hunt Documentation

Egg Hunt Action Shot 1

Egg Hunt Action Shot 2

Tired Egg Hunters

Happy Easter Kid

Spring Break!

2010-04-04T07:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter and more pictures from that soon, but the big news of Spring Break this year is Castaway Bay! May I never travel with Indy again without bringing a playmate. Holy Cow, does that make it easier. Cousin Alex was a Doll the whole time. They both had like one pouty moment in the three day trip and otherwise happily played together . . . constantly. I'm not sure why they still like each other really. Here are the picture highlights:

Brave Girl

Brave Boy

Twin Snakes

Karaoke or Strip Club?

Dance Party Moves

Awww Shucks

2010-03-26T17:52:00.001-07:00

Got my first rejection. I am not a finalist in the RWA competition. I am submitting the same work to two other contests this year and also starting on a new manuscript. I won't lie and say it's not mildly disheartening, but I'm not dissuaded. I mean, have you ever been to a Library book sale and seen the sad awful tripe they can't give away? I can BE that tripe. I just know it. ;-)

Papa Johns is Awesome

2010-03-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

Now I like my favorite pizza place even more after they took in 22 preschoolers and showed them the ins and outs of a pizza shop! The kids loved it, of course. I can imagine how a pizza place would not have time or patience to do something like that. I can imagine how a corporation with a team of lawyers would not allow such a field trip. So I am thrilled to see it happen.

Thanks Papa Johns! Now I love your pizza AND your company!

Grief - The Selfish Version

2010-03-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

This picture is Pat at Two Amigos celebrating her 40th birthday with us. We forced her to get the giant margarita at lunch and then peer pressured her into finishing it. She stayed late to sober up and came back to our house for cake and presents. I can't remember what we got her, but it was never as good as what Pat would buy all of us.

Pat was really good at buying presents because she was really good at understanding what people liked and then twisting that into a unique gift idea. As in, I love to drink Vodka, I am in Marketing, so she got me a picture coffee table book about the marketing history of Absolute Vodka. I mean, who comes up with something like that? Pat, that's who.

OK, now for the selfish part:

I am 36 and this is the first experience with death of someone I love. Well, except Willy the Dog. But human wise, Pat is the first. Nor can I remember many funerals. There was Aunt Katherine, Glady, and my Great Grandmother. I never knew my paternal grandparents. My Mom's folks are still alive. All my extended family are living. Crazy eh? What a sheltered life I live!

What I learned through Pat's death is that the services are so essential in letting go and moving through the shock and permanence of death. Before I went to the weekend events, I reminded myself that she was dead several times a day to reintroduce the shock. As in, "Pat. Wow. Still dead. Still not going to the film festival with me next weekend." It's like I couldn't or wouldn't say goodbye. I wanted to honor the importance and reality of her being truly missing and that seemed to be all I could come up with.

But the services and all the dedicated time to her -- the travel, the conversations, stories, small talk with friends and family, food -- really did bring closure. I guess that sounds obvious in retrospect, but I always believed the services were mostly to just help the family. I believed I was going to the services for them. And I suppose I did, but now I see how my participation was also for me.

Now it dawns on me that this process we have invented as humans is genius. Earl says he wants to be put under a tree near the end with some cookies and water, but no way. The weekend journey through honoring the dead is good stuff.

Some Indy Videos

2010-03-11T05:59:00.000-08:00

Awful Mom

Dead Ants

Dad and Video Games

I Lost a Friend

2010-03-10T06:57:00.000-08:00

My friend Pat Smith died yesterday on her birthday. She was 43. It was the classically horrifying story about not feeling well, going to the doctor, being checked into the hospital and then dying suddenly. She was being treated for blood clots and was doing well. In fact, I was told she was up and talking to her visiting family before she instantly died around 10am.

Pat would have re-written that paragraph. In our work world, it’s called a “lead,” and I am terrible at writing them. When I first met Pat, I was not a particularly good writer, but she was amazingly patient with my work. Everything that came back across my desk as a trade magazine editor was edited by my boss Pat, and it was always bloody in corrective ink. Pat was good at her job and she made me good at mine. I credit her with making me a decent writer.

Pat loved her work which was completely odd. Not the love, the work. Even though she was a girly girl in so many ways, like being a huge 19th century female literature fan, she was also a top, respected expert in the machine tool industry. She worked in the machine tool trade for over 20 years. It took her all over the world -- to Korea, Sweden, France and England to name a few.

When we were together, we always had our best times in Chicago. We once stayed out until 5am and couldn’t take a chance going to sleep before our tradeshow work restarted with a 7am client breakfast. And so, we tried our best to stay awake in our fancy Four Seasons hotel lobby, giggling and poking each other for 2 hours, as the staff vacuumed around us.

Pat led a diverse and rich life. She loved so many things so fully. She was a wonderful cook, loved art, fine food, cinema, books, chocolate, and shopping. More importantly she deeply loved her family. She was the only daughter in a family with 4 brothers and they all adored her. She lived with and took care of her aging parents and spent lots of time with her beloved niece Amber.

I last saw her right before Thanksgiving, and we met at the Art Museum before dining and shopping in Little Italy. Over lunch we talked at length about her Father who had struggled back from the brink of death over the summer. Pat encouraged me to get my affairs in order, and we spoke about our own deaths. She was confident, having such spry older family, that she would live to an old age. But she worried about who would care for her. And she said, after seeing her father’s struggle, she wanted to die quickly without any complications.

We were going to get together on the 20th and go to the Cleveland Film Festival. Many people will miss Pat.

Oh Blogging

2010-02-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

I will not let blog die, I will not let the blog die. ;-)

Well, I won't, but I have been slacking. Seems like every post is a long update. Anyhoo. Here are some pics and updates!

Took the kids bowling, had family and friends over for Brunch on Valentine's weekend, the move is still slowly crawling forward (we should sign this week!), Indy is going to Kindergarten at Waldorf and otherwise doing great. What else to say right? And so, pictures:

Social Media Diet

2010-02-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

Three check ins a day. That's it damnit! I am getting very distracted and addicted to Facebook and Twitter and some other forums and sites I like to frequent. It would be less of an issue if my blackberry didn't have instant and easy access to all these things. So it's like an alcoholic carrying a flask all day and trying not to drink. I'll let you know how this goes. Hopefully better then the actual food diet I am trying to adhere to. I think I've lost 2 lbs in 5 weeks. Lame.

School Concert Coming Up

2010-02-06T18:18:00.001-08:00

Basement for rent. It's that good.

2010-01-31T07:47:00.000-08:00

Hey! I have a clean basement! Barb and Earl came and transformed our damp, cluttered shit hole into a seemingly dry, organized storage area. Tah-Dah! They should seriously hire themselves out. Now I just need to transform the garage & attic in a similar manner using their example. Even if we can't sell the house, it will be lovely to live in a place that has had all these face lifts.

Speaking of face lifts, I had a lovely lunch with Pam and Joanna and Pam gave samples of fancy face cream for old people. I have yet to try it. Denial? Probably laziness. But I will. The wrinkles are asking me too.

The building purchase continues to chug along. I think all is well. No one, as it turns out, has time to update me daily about the process and so no news is good news and there is still no news.

Hopefully Moving

2010-01-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

Life is changing . . . slowly . . . and I am getting kind of impatient with the lack of resolution and impending uncertainty. Of course, this is life, right? And we build the illusions up around it to pretend things are stable and predictable. Then change breaks through, and we're all shocked and dismayed. Humans. Ridiculous lot, really.

Like always though, even though change is uncomfortable, there are a lot of prizes and fun at the end of the transformation. I am not 100% sure, but it looks like we're going to close on a building in two weeks for SageRock, and the Lewis family is going to move into the attached apartment! I LOVE this new place. So much so that I try not to think about it too much because I know these things get delayed and derailed even more so in the commercial world.

So, we'll be engaged in true city living. Back to apartment living -- on a busy street in a neighborhood that my kid won't be riding his bike in without supervision. We can walk to the grocery store, live across from the fire station, near the bus stop and freeway. Unlike city living though, we do have a large yard we can fence in for Indy. But the place is 6000 sq ft + a Full 6Ksqft basement. He totally doesn't need to go outside to play. ;-)

The apartment is one room short for comfortable "lock the door and just live in here" kind of living. So, we plan to create a common area for the business and us personally (top left) that will have the dining room table, couch, projection TV, coffee table, etc. The best part though, for "taffy pockets" and her cheap-ass husband, is the combination of expenses. We are fantasizing daily about access to the SageRock network, phone, security, gas, electric, water, sewer, trash. We will save CRAZY amounts of cash. And then to top it off, the business will someday (not now, thank you recession) build and pay for everything. The fence, roof, landscaping, etc.

We started with a business in our homes, and now, we get to be homeless people camping at the business.

Update / Going through Pictures

2010-01-17T06:36:00.001-08:00

I have been kind of strangely busy since Christmas not doing anything in particular. Well, that's not entirely true. There was the Holly and Alex visit. School started back up. We had to clean up the Christmas debris (although those outdoor lights are not taking themselves down. What's up with that?) And I have been doing a fair amount of work at the Salvation Army soup kitchen.

I took a break from writing but am starting that back up again. Romance novel #2 is underway with next year's contest deadline in mind -- end of November 2010. I have confidence I can submit a new RWA entry because I have been re-reading this year's submission and am very sure there will be no letter coming about being a finalist. Yeesh. Nothing like letting something sit to see it's a giant piece of shit. Well, actually, that's not true. It has some merit. But I have lots of notes about what needs fixed. And it ain't just grammar. So I have been working on that in conjunction with the new book. There is another contest, for this first manuscript that I have my eye on. It has an August deadline. So draft 2 (or maybe it is 3?), could be ready for that.

We were watching video from the Christmas when Indy had just turned two and he was such a sweet little boy. I am happy to say he is as sweet as ever. I am so glad the world hasn't beat the gentleness out of him. He is still considerate, inquisitive and loving. Here are some pictures of him from earlier years that I found in our Kodak gallery this morning and really liked:

Time for the Material Pic

2010-01-12T06:44:00.000-08:00

Every year, The Lewis' fail to send X-mas cards but we rarely fail to take this insane picture of all our Christmas shit. Here it is:

Here is 2005 (our first one). I love that Indy looks like a little baby doll:

I forced Sage to skip 2006 (I hate the clutter as we delay taking this pic / In hindsight I would not have done this had I known how steadfast he would become with this tradition)

Here is 2007

Here is 2008

Holly and Alex

2010-01-03T06:43:00.000-08:00

It takes special people, true friends, to embed themselves into a family environment at Holiday time and call it a "vacation." But that is just what these two did for 5 lovely days. My favorite thing about these visits are the relaxing mornings of chatting and the relaxing dinners of chatting. And because this is the case, we tend to eat a lot and drink a lot of coffee. Puurrrfect. And the cats are sweet to have waltzing around too.

But we didn't just sit on our asses. Holly and Alex got some nice walks in and there was shopping, cooking (you do have to stand up for that), and a trip out for First Night, which included ice skating. I especially enjoyed seeing Indy so happy to have loved ones in the house. Sometimes his love was subtle; other times he was actually attached to a leg. I had that urge as well, but I have all kinds of self control.

Here are some pictures:

Clearly only Alex saw the camera.

Happy Girls

Sweet Indy and Holly

Goofy Indy and Holly

Ice Skating (right before I quit)

Holly and Indy had ice skating stamina

Matching Outfits

2009-12-27T05:53:00.001-08:00

Can we dress them the same until they're 18 or would that be creepy?

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T07:20:00.000-08:00

This is my experience with the Christmas update letter -- can you relate? You open a thick envelope and see it's a card with something else. Ah, the 8x11 typed letter in an 11-12 pt font that's not Times Roman. On one hand, it's a 10 minute obligation; then again it's bound to be entertaining because you're about to learn more about this person and family then you ever wanted to know. The over sharing that occurs in the Holiday update letter is not always overt and intentional, but between the lines you typically get to find out:

Their interpretation of God / Christmas
The intro always gives a shout out to the season. No one wants to be remiss about explaining why they're telling you everything you never cared to know about their family. It's Christmas, that's why! And Christmas is a time of . . . Here's where they lay it out. Sharing? Gratitude? Family? And then you find out if they're in this for the glory of God or not. Is Christmas a secular family holiday or this about Jesus? If it's about Jesus for them, they'll let you know.

What they value
Sometimes they spill a list of things they're thankful about, but more often the values are portrayed in paragraph length and topics addressed. You know, as in 2 full paragraphs about his job, one about the vacation, another about the golf game. Then Jimmy's latest sports success gets a 3 sentence paragraph and Suzy is 5 so she gets one sentence. She's fine. Whatever. And his wife Carol, just loves having family around her this time of year. So you get the hierarchy just in scanning -- Good provider values career, leisure, proud of Jimmy, ignores Suzy, with a nod to Carol for making it all happen. Ta-Dah. Sometimes it's all about the kids. Sometimes the pets each get their own paragraph. You get the idea.

Pessimist or Optimist?
The tone is always fascinating. Is life a crap sandwich or is every tragedy laden with hope? "Well, I have cancer, lost my job, and my wife is leaving me, but God Bless it, I'm still breathing!" But I like the miserable writers. "Jimmy still hasn't found work, but his daughter is doing great in school despite her pronounced learning disabilities."

The take-away - Their life in 3 sentences.
The last paragraph is always the best because you sense they had to really focus to boil it down. How do they sum it up, the entire last year? Here's mine:

We're all healthy and happy here at the Lewis House. It's been a year with a few challenges, but each are helping us appreciate life more and giving us better perspective. We're really looking forward 2010 and continue to be grateful for all our blessings.

Happy New Year to you and yours!
The Lewis'

I'm Sorry, What?

2009-12-15T11:52:00.001-08:00

OK, I need to do things gooder. ;-) Seriously, I am SHIT at my school volunteer gig. I end up doing everything over there twice, and I believe I am pissing off countless parents with my lack of ability. My house is a shit hole. I can't even schedule appointments or fill out paperwork correctly. I am not sure what is going on. Any ideas?

Did I quit work and just stop using brain cells and now they're dying off and leaving little black holes for other ones to slip into? Since when did I become a person that needed time management? When I had no time, I had no need to manage anything. I crammed it all into a tight little schedule. Now my life is open, stress free, and I am a complete fuck up. Just Sayin.

Roller Skating!

2009-12-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday the Hickey family went roller skating. Poor Sage missed it. And this is just the kind of shit he lives for! :-) We were all pretty good for a bunch of old people. It's just like you remember, except no "couple skate" and "all skate" lingo. Also, no little girls had pompoms on their white, shoe-polished personal skates. I missed that. Good times.

I Love the Onion

2009-12-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths

My favorite quote from the "article:"
"Though he maintained that anyone can fall victim to a child's egocentric behavior, Mateo warned that grandmothers were especially susceptible to the self-serving machinations of tiny little sociopaths."

New School for Indy

2009-12-04T06:38:00.000-08:00

Aunt Leslie said she wanted something to read. So I am posting this VERY LONG entry for her. :-) The rest of you can just ignore it because it goes on and on and on.

Before I had Indy, I had a fantasy of parenthood that focused on achievement. I wanted a traditional set of things for my son, the goals of the baby boomers – the “better” life; the newer experience, and with that, a more enriching education. I had a dream to facilitate more for him and give him the experiences needed to make him a better person then what I have become.

In that regard, I read like a madwoman and drove my husband crazy wringing my hands over the proper way to regard and respond to infant needs. That intellectualism and hand wringing defined my early emotions toward my son. I was completely unable to relate to women who told me that they gave birth and were filled with a new love they had never before known. I was instantly drawn to caring for my son, biologically attached, but the love was not “at first site.” My predominant feeling with my newborn was fear. I had one agenda as all others fell away, and it was, “Don’t kill him.”

After he and I survived the first 6 months, my fear and my intellectualism subsided as my love grew. I started to see a little person in my home and in my arms, and he started to reveal himself to me. This was not what I expected. I thought we were engaged in a scientific experiment together, and I thought I was the scientist and he my subject. Not so. It turns out there are two scientists in one collaborative project – the first project our relationship as mother and child and then the experiment naturally expands into each of our relationships with the larger world. In other words, we are both being changed and exacting change with each other and beyond.

Now, fast forward to year 4/5 and we bump up against education -- our first experience with societal system and assimilation. I found that my first reaction was a protective one. I wanted not just to protect his ego from suffering but to also protect his “specialness.” I don’t want him blended, dismissed from spotlight, and molded, and yet that’s what school requires. That’s what life requires. That’s what I assumed.

My second reaction was to revert back to the intellectual concerns and give him “the best.” So we sent him to preschool in one of the most honored and well liked K-8 elementary schools in our area. Parental educational involvement at his current school, even in preschool, is intellectual involvement. As it turns out, the required parenting to ensure my son’s academic achievement at his school butts up against my emotional parenting sensibilities.

They believe he is slow to develop and have encouraged me to push and intervene. I added to that “evaluate” and all non-school entities give my son a pass. The 2 psychologists, language therapist, and teacher from the local school system told me he was “very bright.” The doctor said he was “borderline” on small motor and said, “but why not get evaluated?” Then he clarified, “Wait, is he in Kindergarten this year? Oh next year? Well, so he has 10 months? A lot can happen in 10 months.” Uh huh. And so, this school obviously has high standards for normal. Is that a good thing?

At first, I told myself it probably was and to rise to the occasion. Higher standards require more effort, correct? So, do it all, have it all, as modern society requires. His school and their academic standards of excellence are what society requires for success. If I want him to be successful, I told myself, I will acquiesce. I will place him into multiple sessions of occupational therapy to circumvent slower development. I will play the role of task master for bike pedaling to pencil grip and every effort of praxis in between.

I saw him begin to suffer. As I stood over my slower developing son, telling him he must focus on creating the “d” within his name or disappoint me and his teachers, I felt physically ill watching him squirm. Just as I felt when he told me he was not good at “art” or anything that required small motor skills. Just as I felt when I praised him as he put legos and puzzles together and he said, beaming and surprised, “I’m good at this!”

But it was my failings that crystallized this debate for me. The school sent, as they always do, a daily reflection from class. This time a PDF of the student’s art. Not my student to me but all students to all parents. And my son’s drawings betrayed the lower skill level they had warned me about when compared to his peers. “We are concerned,” they said. “He can’t even write his name.” His father and grandmother looked at his drawing with pride and they told him how impressed they were with him. I was immediately angry. I felt they were in denial. The minute my son was out of earshot, I told them they were crazy. He was failing to measure up. He was below average and this was problematic. They were kind in their responses, but I was filled with shame the second after I let my thoughts out. I knew I was wrong. Problematic to whom? Me, of course.

That’s when I realized that my new primary job as a mother is to tell Indy that I believe he is complete and special in every way. Not to say I should be in a bubble of denial about my child’s limitations, but there is a certain degree of protection required. Because if your mother does not believe you have gifts and cannot grant you unconditional love and admiration for who you are, well, you will probably experience a lot of pain and insecurity venturing out into the world and finding the sentiment continually reconfirmed. As in, “she was right to criticize, I can’t do shit.”

It was then that I re-evaluated the purpose of education. The surface purpose – to find success within society – was no longer enough. It was time to define “success.” So, I looked closely at what I wanted for Indy and at what I imagined Indy would want for himself. He can’t tell me and this is an important part of my job description. I need to understand who he is and what he needs and not just project myself onto him.

Success, for me, I have decided, is a purpose filled life. Will that resonate with my son? I cannot be sure. And so, in thinking of the skills he will need to discover his own definition of success, I realized his education needed to focus on the very basics in human desire. Things like fostering self love and confidence, curiosity, appreciation of process and not result, and a sense of one’s gifts and uniqueness within a community.

Friends, concerned with educational assimilation said, “home school him,” and those with social concerns said, “you cannot impose such a disservice as home schooling.” Ultimately, homeschooling revealed itself as wrong for us because of the change I had experienced in parenting within that first 6 months of our grand experiment. I cannot be my young son’s intellectual guide because I am too entrenched in the emotions of parenting. I cannot be his task master at an age when he needs to build his self confidence and learn to be a whole person in the world. Maybe someone else could, but I can’t reconcile my two job descriptions.

Enter the Waldorfs. As a secular humanist, my first exposure to the local Waldorf school made me recoil. Let’s not mince words. If you are not religious, you instantly know this is a parochial school, and a strange one at that. Their rejection of technology, dedication to one teacher for eight years, extensive study of mythology, and obsessive water coloring makes me uncomfortable. Many facets of Anthroposophy make me uncomfortable. And Steiner’s past has some pretty obvious blemishes.

But, like all religions, there is baby and there is bathwater. I cannot in good conscious toss them both. School will never be tailored to the specialness of each child. It can’t be, even in homeschooling, you’re bound to disregard something in the individual. In an educational system, this is going to be prevalent. So, it seems to me, you choose the system that best caters to your child’s needs and gifts and your parental sensibilities and goals.

Indy's precocious cousin Alex would wither and die at our local Waldorf school. Her little square pegged self would be consistently shaved down and forced into the soft round, water-colored hole. My son, although I once fantasized he would be sharp and square, is soft and round. He is lost in the squareness of his current school. He belongs with the Waldorfs.

I could spend some time here talking about why the Waldorfs are what they are, but they explain it better. And so, a new journey begins. We tried the best secular private school in our area, and it was a fabulous learning experience for both Indy and his parents. Now we’ll try the crunchy Waldorfs.

I’ll keep you posted!

Here Come The Holidays!

2009-11-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely long weekend.

Part 1 Stay-Cation: Turned out to be too much for Indy right now, but he enjoyed the 3 days it was up. I had planned to do 5, but he wasn't sleeping well, and he's having trouble growing up right now. Lot's of tears and frustration, so returning to routine was welcomed by all.

Part 2 Thanksgiving: Mmmmm. All the traditional delicious stuff. I will say though I missed two regular aunty contributions -- strawberry salad and cheesy broccoli. And, not to forget aunt DL, I better see her at Christmas, or I'll shed tears about not eating that toffee.

Great to see my grandparents. Indy finally understood who they are this year. Nana's parents. His Great Grandparents. He also "got" the connection that they had bought him lovely birthday things and was proud to present his thank you card.

Part 3: Post Thanksgiving shopping. We are done shopping for Indy! That was fast. We had anticipated going out and finding nothing, but I saw some good deals so the kid has all his stuff bought except for the new drum heads for his drum set. That's right. Santa approves of noise.

Part 4: Thanksgiving Parade. Man was that LONG. It was cute though. I decided Earl needs to be in it next year with his convertible. There were some sad classic cars in that parade. And way too many corvettes. Corvettes and Model Ts. Someone needs to represent the 60s. It would be fun to throw candy at people too.

Indy was chatty at school today

2009-11-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

The best thing our preschool does is send these emails about circle time conversation. Indy had a lot to report today. He is BEYOND excited about our upcoming stay-cation.

What we do, is try and create a hotel room on our third floor. We use his two twin bunk bed mattresses to make a king bed. This is where we have our movie theater/TV. We stock the mini fridge with beverages and get candy and buffet breakfast kind of food. And we all hang out together lounging in the big bed at nighttime while we stay up late and we lie around for longer than normal in the morning. It is quite fun, if I don't say so myself. I'm setting it up Wednesday and then I'll break it down Monday morning.

Anyway, so that was what he was talking about for his first monologue at circle time.

T: This morning, Indy, you wanted to know if we knew what something was.
Indy: Do you know what a stay-cation is? We have candy, we watch TV up in the TV room. We watch shows up there, and there is candy and balloons. We move our beds up there.
T: How long will they be there?
Indy: Forever.

Then he told all about our Christmas lights that we put up yesterday. They are sparkly and nice.

Indy: We went outside we decorated. When it was nighttime we put our shoes on and walked down the stairs. I was staring at them and I said “This looks like Christmastime.”

The picture is Indy at school getting his birthday gift made by his birthday committee. He asked for a Kitty Cat.

Paaaatt!

2009-11-22T06:09:00.000-08:00

Here's my Friday wrap up:
Pat is awesome.
Little Italy is still delicious.
Gauguin exhibit is a bit disappointing.

It had been over a year since I saw Pat. FAIL. What a bad friend I turned out to be! We had a blast. It was nice to catch up over art, food, and then more consumer inspired art.

We ate at Guarinos, which is charming. If you had an Italian Grandmother, this would be her restaurant with all the lace, silver, and burgundy and rose colors. And the food is traditional and delicious.

WKSU says, "It's an art show about an art show." That is its downfall I think. A little bit too specialized. I knew it was a year, and I don't know how much I expect a guy to accomplish in a year certainly, but they seemed to be padding the place with a lot of other people's art. And the Zincograph, while interesting, didn't seem exhibit worthy to me. I get it, it's complicated. It's also a copy. He was making copies. The exhibit was what it promised to be I suppose, but I think it was just a weak exhibit concept.

I am Supposed to be Cleaning my House

2009-11-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

Since we fired the cleaning people, I told myself I'd clean my house every Thursday morning. They did it every Wednesday morning. Instead I am writing email, blogging this nonsense, and going to Sams club. I mean, what good is a clean bathroom if you have no toilet paper, right? Sure. Right. I'll get to the house . . . eventually.

He's Just Fine

2009-11-14T05:55:00.000-08:00

We had the strangest teacher meeting yet. It all accentuated the positive. There were only 2 little things to work on -- his writing and his letters. After all the crazy, after even the "development delay screening" recommendation from 5 weeks ago, there were suddenly no problems. Did I mention the Kindergarten Screening is in a few weeks? So do we get the bad news then? Or is it renewal time and the word is go easy on the re-uppers?

But, hey, I facilitated the creation of a preschool bowl that looked pretty cool. Not cool enough for me to buy for lots of money, but hopefully someone will.

OK, enough of all that.

My kid is 5

2009-11-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

What a shocker! When did this happen? Five years?!

OK, enough of that. He had a Halloween themed birthday party because he loves spooky stuff more than anything else and everything was on sale. ;) He got Star Wars Legos, an electric guitar, and a bike. He's loving being 5 and says things like, "I can do this because I'm five." It's sweet.

Speaking of things he can do . . . or not do . . . He got his preschool "grade card" thingy and he's doing better then last year. Each little kid skill is ranked in this way: Not Age Appropriate / Needs Assistance / Emerging / Proficient. Last year he was all the bottom two. This year he's all NA and E but still is not "proficient" in anything. I am, however, fairly sure he will become proficient in 4-5 skills by Q4.

We're meeting with the teachers Friday to discuss the card and let them know we have not yet pursued the developmental delay screening and small motor OT they recommended. The delay screening is scheduled for next Tuesday, and I'm not paying $40 a week for Indy to learn how to work a pencil. I'm over it. If he comes back from that delay screening and they declare him normal or better and reaching milestones (as the city school system already did) then I'm done with OTS. So, there goes ruling the world.

Either way, it's looking like Indy must not be Old Trail material. And I think that's quite OK.

So there's the kid update!

Writing, Writing, Writing

2009-11-03T07:31:00.001-08:00

It's a Romance novel. Well, sort of. It started out being just as formulaic and "sensual" as required and then morphed into something less formulaic and maybe less shallow, and I lost my scripted ending and now it's, I don't even know. Unmarketable. That's my fear anyway. But, hey, whatever. I have seriously had a blast.

Right now, I'm formatting and final editing for real bad and obvious problems. I'll send the synopsis and partial manuscript, all 6 copies, to the RWA (Romance Writers of America) "unpublished manuscript" contest on the 23rd. They will toss all 6 copies in the trash on Dec. 3rd when they read the synopsis and see that it is not a romance novel. I should learn about that sometime in late February. :)

At which point, I am hoping the book is back with more feedback from my already amazing readers. Then I will rip out the sensual, twist up the formula, and try and make it into something else. Less mainstream, let's say. Then I will do all the things unpublished writers do like join writing groups, go to conferences, and send out dozens of mailings monthly and watch rejection letters roll in while I work on something else.

I am not sure my ego is totally ready for this process, but I feel committed. Malcolm Gladwell tells me it's going to take 10,000 hours. That's about 6 1/2 years at 30 hours a week. So I'm rounding up and giving myself 10 years. If I have nothing published by age 46, I will declare this a giant misstep and spend the next 10 years on something else.

Have I mentioned I am grateful for my cushy life as an aristocrat that allows me to do shit like follow my bliss?

Family Reunion Fun

2009-10-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful family reunion weekend. Indy got to see 4 ships go by and 2 of them were from Uncle Phil's company which meant horns and spotlights. Too cool!

The old fashioned Inn we stayed at was cheap and had an amazing pool and hot tub. I think we punched in about 4-5 hours total there. Plus lovely and cheap room service options. Indy's favorite part of the weekend was a small abandoned bar near a foyer/mingle area outside a ballroom. It was on the way to the pool, shut down for winter (must get use in wedding season), and we played "kitchen" there a lot. It had a working sink, beer cooler, and an unplugged cash register. He was in heaven. The driving there and back was pretty as well with the leaves, and the turnpike has nice rest stops. It was all grand.

Blog abandonment

2009-10-18T14:09:00.001-07:00

Nothing quite so sad in the time wasting internet world, is there? I was researching temporary guardianship issues in regards to the story I'm writing. Just wanted to make sure I had the paperwork and court stuff right in my fictional world. I need a power of attorney issued for this blog. Anyone want to take over my blogging responsibilities? If my blog falls and needs stitches, who will take it to the emergency room, because I am obviously on a blog vacation.

This manuscript goes off to the judges right before Thanksgiving. I'll try my best before then, surely, but I'll be back full force then. Until then, I've got school volunteering and the writing offline sucking my life away. I am neglecting Holly emails, housework, dinner. Crap, what's for dinner tonight? See! Told you!

Happy Birthday Sage!

2009-09-29T06:52:00.001-07:00

Another year goes by and you're as fabulous as ever! Enjoy the year of your new business paradigm, your marathon running, and your off-continent adventure. I love you so much. Dude, we've been married 13 years!

Hello, Remember Me?!

2009-09-27T06:34:00.001-07:00

Where the hell have I been? Fine question. I have been writing a novel. I am obsessed and it is stealing all my writing energy and focus. It's horribly embarrassing to admit, but here I am, admitting it. The embarrassment especially stems from the fact that I quit my job 10 years ago to do this as well, and I did it and hated what I wrote and it was a humiliating, painful, soul-sucking experience.

Well, this time it has been an incredibly easy, enriching experience. I am 60% done, and I think it's something someone would enjoy reading. Are you that someone? That, I am not so sure about. More on that later . . .

Mostly the joy in it comes from a better perspective. Because of my cushy life, financial success in this endeavor no longer matters, so I am committed to a long and unfruitful journey as a writer. I have multiple projects in the air and feel no urgency to be on Oprah's Book Club. This is a process. A long and enjoyable journey that leads to wherever, and I'm fine with that.

But, I haven't been blogging because I am shooting to submit the manuscript to a contest with a mid-November deadline.

OK, that is all! Oh, no wait! I do not want to tell you what it is about, so don't ask. :)

I would give this kid an "A," Seriously

2009-09-18T07:36:00.001-07:00

see more Fail Blog

Getting Better

2009-09-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

Indy is still slow, but better. Seems to me that Indy needs all kinds of coaching and practice in things that come easy for other kids. Like riding a bike, talking, and coloring.

He's made great strides in transitions, socialization, and my favorite, "Line." He's also taking direction better, but clearly remains in his own little world when overstimulated. He's still failing language skills and small motor skills.

We, the Lewis parents, now have a new sense of urgency and it's called Kindergarten. If he can't master pencil grip by September of 2010, he's going to be in a world of hurt. Well, really just a world of frustration. And he is, they tell me, way behind. I have certainly noticed, but have been so focused on Language, social and large motor problems this summer, that I only worked on writing his name. And they told me he couldn't write his name, so they obviously don't feel our efforts were sufficient there.

But overall it was a good meeting. Sage summed it up well saying that this year he's not taking this personally. That's exactly how I felt. This really is about Indy and meeting him where he's at. The goals of all this seemed to really emerge at this new meeting. It's about giving Indy as much help as possible to reduce frustration and help him fit in so he doesn't feel isolated. That's it. Nice and simple. We're not creating the world's brightest anything. Not making sure he supersedes the Jones boy. Not honing his skills for the 8th grade debate team. Just trying to ensure a happy, well-adjusted kid.

The best thing about Indy is he's clearly very bright and amazingly creative. He's also curious about life and very insightful about situations and people. I think once this development stuff clicks and he catches up with his peers, they'll be no stopping him.

My Sweet (Smart?) Son

2009-09-15T07:51:00.001-07:00

Says to me this morning: “I’m gonna miss you when I’m a big boy at school all day.” Followed shortly by, “Can we still play Raccoon?” To which I responded, “We can play Raccoon forever.” Sigh. Why do I suspect 13-yr-old Indy will not be interested in the Raccoon puppet?

Also in the adorable category – he wanted to go up to the Deli restaurant counter by himself on Saturday after he ate his pizza to say, “Thank You.” He’s also been greeting Daddy every day asking, “So, how was work today?” And after Sage answers he continues, saying, “What did you do at work?”

Pizza Thank You night was incidentally the same evening he recognized / named the Scrabble tiles A, L, and E. He also did something totally freaky that night that had to just be a coincidence! He was loitering while Clayde and I scrabbled, and I said I needed to make a word that had 24 points to stay ahead. Then I put my word down and counted the points saying, “Well, it’s 8 with a double word score. So eight twice.”

I shit you not, Indy says, “Is 16 enough?” To which I responded, “What did you just say?!” And Clayde said, “You heard him.”

He also site read the word, “Gun,” yesterday. WTF? What ever happened to “Cat?” I get a sense some days that he’s very bright, but trapped in that pretty little head.

We have a meeting with the teachers and school psychologist tomorrow morning, so all illusions that my son is on par with peers may soon be shattered. I’ll let you know.

Little Updates

2009-09-09T11:36:00.001-07:00

Spent Labor day weekend at the foggy, but warm, lake house. The kids had a ball, and I got to sleep and eat a lot, so vacation mission accomplished.

Before Labor day Indy got a note from his teachers to bring home that said he was doing well! I almost fell over dead. Evidently he's building block towers and making friends. Tah-Dah!
I have been assigned the "Lead Parent Coordinator" role for Preschool Volunteering. It involves adorable things like organizing little festivals and parties. Solving big problems like, "Who will bring the plates? Who will tell everyone the snacks must be tree nut free?" After spending last year working for a living, this looks breezy and fun. But I mustn't express this sentiment to anyone because these ladies take this shit very seriously.
Sage is turning into a running fiend, and I'm looking forward to cheering him on in Chicago on October 11th for the marathon.
I am Jazzercising 4 days a week in hopes of no longer being a weakling. See marathon man bullet above. I can't compete with that certainly, but I can try and stop jiggling when I walk.
SageRock lives and breathes without me. Hard to imagine, but true. I am still interested in the potential building purchase and figuring I have to help move the office to somewhere. Unfortunately, our realtor retired mid commercial deal. That seems annoying to me, but Sage is handling it and is not at all annoyed because Sage thinks unpredictable crap like that is "exciting."
I've got other stuff I am working on in my free time too -- writing mostly -- but nothing worth expounding upon at the moment.

Over and out.

Indy Still Needs Language Therapy

2009-09-02T16:14:00.001-07:00

Today, I was the volunteer at school that took the kids down for their hearing and speech test. This meant I got to talk to each kid for about 5 minutes. The whole process of escorting, waiting with them and escorting them back took 2 hours. Each kid was adorable and amazing. Highlights include the kid that is obsessed with Star Wars but hates the third movie because it has lava "and I hate lava." The little girl named Vivian who, when I told her I knew someone named Vivian, said "I didn't think there was anyone else on Earth named Vivian." And then there was the petrified 3-yr-old who took a bear to the test and explained that the bear (who shared his name) was going to take the test for him.

Indy was the last kid to go, and I took him with 2 other kids his age. So all three of us were chatting. After talking with all the kids, and then talking with my own in a small group, it became painfully obvious he still needs language therapy. The length of time on pauses alone makes life hard for him as other kids interrupt. But, even with me, he is slow and unsure of himself with conversation.

Ah well, here's to another year of preschool!

First Week of School

2009-08-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

He had two full days last week and now he's onto the first full week. Thus far, all is well. He has a little buddy that's super sweet and awesome. He told me Friday he made friends with a little girl and that they talked "like adults," whatever that means. He also is making friends with someone he calls, "camp kid." I guess that kid was at summer camp with him. Language therapy should start next week. Today he ordered Asian Bar for lunch. That'll be a shock. Overall, I'm pleased as punch. Now, time to wait for the all the Fall evaluations to come so I can begin worrying properly.

End of Summer Fun

2009-08-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from two recent summer outings -- the Glendale cemetery in Akron and hiking at Hinckley Ledges.

A Shout Out to Dr. Coventry

2009-08-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

"I want to take my skin off," says Indy last night. "What's under here?" Kid seems a little possessed at the moment with the topic of body construction and doctors. Kind of goes along with the Tim Burton movie fixation for sure and the love of Halloween.

In answer to the "tell me about doctors" dinner question, asked nightly, Sage this time whipped out the computer and showed him the Body Worlds exhibit that's been going around Science Museums. He was so sincere and sounded awe inspired when he said to Sage, "Thank you for showing me this."

Of course Sage is like a mad man with the Doctor encouragement. Also last night he gave a shout out to PhDs and specifically Dr. Coventry, Holly's boyfriend. It went like this:

"Some Doctors don't see patients. They don't bother to help one person at a time . . . Noooo. That's too slow. Holly's boyfriend, Alex, remember him? He works all day on his computer and helps thousands of people."

Indy's eyes got huge, "A doctor that works on computers!?!" There it was -- his two obsessions, coming together in one gorgeous package.

And The Ribbon Goes To . . . That Kid!

2009-08-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

I met a woman today that had her life completely under control. She had created her own hierarchy chart of Decision Making Values. It went - God, Marriage, Family, Career, Extended Family, Friends. I thought Sage and I were zealots to revisit goals every September. She actually schedules the entire year for her whole family in September. Her 4-yr-old son is on top of life too and is taking violin and phonics lessons.

I am impressed by her, but I can't be like her and don't want to be. My value chart looks different. For starters, it's not a chart. That's my first problem. :) I think of Indy when I meet people like this at school because their children will be his peers in life.

Sage and I like to joke over his head, saying things like, "Tomorrow's elite leaders . . ." and then we finish the sentence with adorable 4-yr-old stuff like "finish their pudding!" or "pull up their own pants!" I think for some there is no joke there. I guess you indoctrinate your children to your own values (in my case in spite of myself) and just hope for the best.

When my kid drives the fire truck to this kid's million dollar house when grandma leaves a pan on the stove, I'll be very proud of him. :)

My awesome life update #324:

2009-08-23T08:50:00.001-07:00

Sage: Is this new stove easy to clean?
Rocky: That's a great question. Let's ask the cleaning people.

The resume of profile pics

2009-08-23T08:39:00.001-07:00

We all have that one picture . . . that makes us look fabulous, but actually looks nothing like you. I find that 75% of performing arts bio pics are like this and when the person steps onstage you’re like, “WTF, is that this woman here in the black and white wearing the turtle neck?!”

Anyway, social networking has taken this phenomenon to the next level and made everyone’s vanity and misrepresentation embarrassingly public. There is this young girl in my Facebook friend list that looked so amazing and so different from when I knew her; I thought she must have undergone some kind of magical transformation. Then I visited more recent pictures from a trip and there she was, same old gal.

Am I judging her? Of course I am! Do I do it too? Of course I do. I do it even more prolifically – Linked In, the SageRock Blog, my Live Journal Profile Pic, my Video Phone thumbnail are all this pretend me picture.

Here is real me.

Admit it, whose status updates are you more interested in? I have no point here accept to show off my nice profile picture. Hah! See, I did it again. ;)

P.S.: How do people internet date? Do you just insist on 10 full body pictures before the initial meetup?

School Starts in a Week

2009-08-18T13:10:00.001-07:00

I bought a backpack
I bought the school supplies
The class tortoise is still alive
Indy is almost consistently shitting in the toilet
He learned to write his name
He has a friend in class
He seems willing to go back

Ahhh, time to sit back and watch the unexpected challenges smack into me.

I Worked Out!

2009-08-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

Now, I just need to do that for about 6 more months and I'll be in shape.

Marathon Man and the Butterball

2009-08-16T06:55:00.000-07:00

We were at the fair recently and so I have confirmation of a past phenomenon still occurring -- the weight mismatched couple. You've seen them. Rail thin guy and his obese woman. It's always comical to me because I can hear Earl in my head making lewd jokes about her smothering him. Anyway, Sage is off running every morning to train for the Chicago Marathon, and now he's spouting off about how he may be biologically built for a 50-mile desert run. This means I (it's about ME of course) have a new-found problem. Runners eat carbs, and I am the pasta princess. I was crowned in the late 70s over a bowl of steaming spaghetti marinara (in case you missed the ceremony).

He is already eating so much food. I love to cook and I am joyfully cooking lovely, starchy things for him. And eating them. I am only about 3 lbs up from last year this time. But he is only training to run a regular marathon right now and hasn't officially declared himself an iron man.

I have two options moving forward: Eat WAY less of all this food I am cooking. Or become an iron woman so I can imbibe. This week I have plans to bake chocolate muffins, apple cobbler, and several delicious pasta and rice sides to go with salmon and chicken. I have bought fresh french bread, new olive oil . . .

Yeah, you can find me at the gym tomorrow afternoon. I am going to have to hope I have discipline to work out, because I don't have the discipline to deny myself food.

Mammograms and Heavily Treed Forests

2009-08-14T10:30:00.001-07:00

So with the debate on national health care raging, I wanted to weigh in anecdotal-ly with a completely un-thought-out rambling about my Mammogram this morning. The place I got this done was a spa. No joke. Water fountain in the lobby, wood-lined changing rooms, new age music, robes, two beautiful waiting rooms (one for the robed and the other for the clothed). It was nothing short of extravagant. I am sure 70% of us were there in the name of preventative medicine.

The doctor endorsed said visit promising to save money for all in the long run because a young boob "baseline" promises 5 year visits from here until death with less invasive intervention because of being able to accurately track variations. So, perhaps my spa visit is saving everyone money? Hard to track, eh?

Then again, there is undoubtedly something wrong with a system that lets me, a wealthy white girl with no history of breast cancer, no breast issues currently, and 35 years young, waltz into this place and get a $15 mammogram because I have $350/month insurance paid by my (ehhemm) employer. Unjust in this town for sure where I daily watch people that can barely walk, hobble back to their apartments from Wallgreens where they get their groceries. Sadly they buy groceies for twice as much because they have to buy them in one bag increments . . . because they don't have cars and can't lug cheaper groceries bought in larger quantities from the bus stop . . . because they can't walk. You get the idea.

Clearly, if I cared about anyone besides myself I'd start a charity that offers people rides to Aldis. But I barely care about anything beyond my next dessert, and so I am just taking 5 minutes to point out that even I can see something is a bit skewed here. Now, somebody fix it.

Attention Male Akronites

2009-08-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

Now that summer is finally here, I'd like to lay down the law about something very important. I believe that 90 degrees is the temperature where it is permissible for a man, out in public, to remove his shirt. But there are some ground rules:

You must have your shirt in your possession. Don't leave your house without a shirt. That's just creepy.
You must be exerting yourself in some manner - Walking, painting a fence, running. Eating a burrito does not count.
You must be within your weight range. This is important. No exceptions.

Thank You.

We Miss You Already, Sage!

2009-08-10T11:55:00.001-07:00

Indy has figured out that Sage is the Bees Knees. And upon learning that Dad was leaving for a week, he attached himself to his hip for 24 hours. I said goodbye to Sage before running errands this morning and missed the official suitcase carrying goodbye that Indy experienced. Indy greeted me when I came back later today and said, "I bet you're going to really miss Daddy."

I said I would really miss him, and he looked at the floor and said, "Me too. I really love Daddy."

July was Lovely

2009-08-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

Time to Scale it Back

2009-08-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

Life that is. Things have been mighty exciting around here, and I am making it my mission to achieve the chill we Lewis' need to start Fall with our wits intact.

The transitions are starting to resolve or at least fade back as the daily grind pushes forward. Holly is all moved in with Alex. Jamie led a successful revolution and now has his job reinstated. And Sage is kicking marathon ass and enthusiastically tackling new roles at work.

And me? I am settling into my new life as a housewife. A life that, strangely, is filled with many to dos. The difference is that now everything on my "to do" list is pleasant. Or at least un-stressful. And right now that is all I want.

Sage and Indy Make a Video

2009-08-04T14:52:00.000-07:00

I love it!

Struggling but Hopeful

2009-08-03T07:58:00.001-07:00

The self loathing is ever present but on the wane. Seems to me that life for so many people right now is about struggle and transition. What's up with that? Is it just a generational thing? As in, I know people approaching 40 and they all seem to have life-shift things going on? Or is it a public mood, a collective, sub-conscious mindset, brought on by what? The economy? The lull of summer? H1N1?

I am probably just projecting my own situation on everyone I know. Because money, summer, and sickness seem to be defining my own life.

Money - This is actually not about personal financial stuff, but about work, which is influenced by the economy. Work has been stressful. And I have been mentally unable to do anything stressful without falling apart. So, instead of working on handling stress better (a hallmark of the past 15 years with this problem), I am instead eliminating the stress for a while. AKA: quitting work. Shocking, eh? I have huge amounts of guilt and self loathing about it. More on that later perhaps.

Summer - Lovely to "relax" away from the demands of work and school scheduling. (I know, he's in preschool, but it is part of a K-8 school and they indoctrinate early). When we get away from regular life, it's awesome. When we get back, our steaming pile of life is there waiting. There has been less of this in the past summers. So the tension seems to be following us around a bit. Me not at work both relaxes and stresses Sage more. Especially when we're . . .

Sick -- WTF? We've had a real rash of illness around here. I swear if we haven't had the swine flu yet, I'll be pissed because we've seemed to have everything else that might seem related. Colds, Sinus infections, Bronchitis, what next? And it takes us all down for at least a full week.

OK, enough cheerful updating. I am still grateful for everything I have. And I have SO much. Just need to focus on it more. But this summer has me strangely looking forward to fall.

Still Alive!

2009-07-28T08:43:00.000-07:00

Had cousin Alexandra for a weekend of camping and Cedar Point. Wonderful times were had by all! Now Holly comes for a weekish with kitties! I am blissed out and busy in all the right kind of ways. More on new found bliss soon. And hopefully pictures.

Hello There!

2009-07-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

I have not been writing because I have been uninspired by life. Not to say I haven’t been happy. I am finding all kind of daily joy with my family and friends. Since reflection and introspection were making me self loathe, I am just living completely in the present for now. Which, I suppose has rendered me a bit speechless.

That said, here is a nice link Sage sent me yesterday about Lupus coverage in the NYT. I have been flaring up a bit lately and cannot discount how that contributes to my emotions. I can also tell you we had a wonderful weekend camping and hanging out at Cedar Point. Indy said he wants to live at the campsite all summer. Sounds divine.

Sundae Blues

2009-07-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

Having some self loathing issues this week, but winning Scrabble twice has helped me feel less useless. Surely a woman who can win a game or two of Scrabble deserves to occupy space on this Earth, uh, right?

Normally my existential paradigm runs quietly under the surface of my conscious mind, and I don't bother to think about why I bother to exist -- I just drink coffee, cuddle my son, chat with Sage, do some work. But every once in a while the Crackel shell on my perfect-life sundae gets chipped, and I'm forced to stare at the vanilla ice cream of my soullessness. Doesn't this metaphor make my existential turmoil seem cheerier? Or cherrier? :)

I have no solution or anything, just venting. I am considering a new life purpose that involves channeling all my energy into avoiding pain and suffering. But I will more likely find a refreshing new way to distract myself. Stay tuned. It'll be fascinating, I'm sure.

Out of my Comfort Zone

2009-07-07T17:16:00.001-07:00

Working up here at the lake and having mixed emotions about it. It's both more relaxing and more annoying to try and accomplish things in a space where you traditionally play. That is all.

Oh Look! Pictures of my Best Friends!

Lake House Fun!

2009-07-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely 4th of July up at the Lake house this year. The kids make it fun and add a level of energy that counter balances the seriously chill atmosphere of lapping waves on the shore, fresh breezy air, and 73 degrees. Adults read trashy magazines, eat donuts and M&Ms, fish, and putz on projects or boats. Holly was here and her and Sage rowed across the lake and back on the world's windy-est day.

4 and 5 yr olds:
Chase each other around the house for an hour on pretend motorcycles
Fish in 10-15 minute stints several times a day
Throw rocks over the break wall
Swim
Ride bikes
Hunt tadpoles
Beg for boat rides
Go to the Park
Play Board Games
Climb Panama Rocks
Do crafts
Roast Marshmallows
Stalk Dogs
Play in the sandbox
Play Ball
Play Cave in the bunk bed

You get the idea . . .

e

Too F'n Cute

2009-07-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

Not sure how this dude Got These Pictures, but they made my little day much brighter. Here's a sampling from the link . . .

Beautiful People

2009-06-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Kaye is married! A picture is worth 1000 words.

I was on Vacation . . .

2009-06-26T11:58:00.001-07:00

I was waiting to post about it, waiting for pictures. But we got the swine flu (we think) and have been too wiped out and too busy to reminisce. Memphis! That was grand, mostly because Monsanto paid for everything. Who doesn't love that? Well, everyone that thinks Monsanto is evil. They just cringed. But my hotel had ducks in the Lobby. They were fuzzy and cute and Indy got to touch one that then snapped at him.

I liked Memphis enough to go back, but without the kid, for sure. The Civil Rights Museum, The Music studios, Rib places, Beale street music and drinks, the art galleries. All great stuff for the non kid peeps. The town has an amazing amount of character too, which I loved. I sensed it was poorish, not shishi at all (gritty even), but it was dripping with character. It was like no other city I have ever been too. So that made it worth the trip.

Fuzzy Disney Love

2009-06-22T18:14:00.000-07:00

He told us his "hug arms were ready" before we got to the restaurant. This was day 1 at Magic Kingdom. Lots more of these posted soon.

Happy Father's Day, Sage!

2009-06-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Indy and I are so lucky to have you as the Father of this little family. I have truly never known another human being that is as patient, generous, joyful, optimistic and so full of love every single day. You may be an alien.

Thank you for taking the time to be part of Indy's daily life and for not only being the cheerleader for fun and risk and bravery for him, but also a go-to guy for comfort and cuddles.

Whenever I wonder who he will become when he grows up, I am encouraged to know he has such an amazing role model to guide him.

We love you so much! Happy Day Darling!

Skylight Opera Milwaukee -- Poster Child for Unethical Leadership?

2009-06-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

It's not just Wall Street big wigs leaving a bad taste in the honest taxpayer's mouth. A local arts organization in Milwaukee is making a go at turning stomachs as well. The Sklight Opera appears to be bumbling its way through budget cuts with, at best, clueless and, at worst, unethical decisions and practices.

Skylight Opera Music Director, Jamie Johns, became vocal with the public in questioning the budget restructuring decision that fired beloved Artistic Director Bill Theisen and Company Manager Diana Alioto -- leaving an unfilled creative black hole at the company. He also reiterated some staff concerns about the HR practices and actions preceding recent firings. After he got legitimate press about his misgivings, he was fired via email.

People looking for the other side of this story are encouraged to call the man who made the decision directly: "If you have any questions regarding this information, the Skylight or the Broadway Theatre Center please contact Eric [Dillner] directly at 414-291-7811 ext. 221."

This is a video of Jamie leading a peaceful protest about the sudden and sloppy restructuring:

Transition

2009-06-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Seems lots of people I know are going through huge transitions right now. I am proud to know them all. To name a few:

Holly finished the comps and coursework for her PhD! She moves now into a new era of scholarship. Is she ready? Is anyone? Can she finish? Can she enjoy the process, the LONG non-sprinty process, of writing her dissertation? Has she learned enough about the scholarship and writing and herself to complete this journey with her sanity intact?

Jamie lost his job. He spoke out against leadership there and was labeled a "combatant." He now starts a journey of self exploration. What kind of employment does he want? Is it about getting back "in" somewhere and using his gifts? Is it a redefinition of desires?

Kaye is getting married. Leslie's Facebook says: 8 days. :) The combining of families, of loves, of dysfunction and futures. Sorting that tangle of personalities and agendas and intentions that circle around the party and the life making that follows is a transition I remember and don't envy.

Seems to me transitions are never smooth and we rarely get to prepare for them. We mostly get thrust into change. And even if we had time to write a manifesto or blueprint for how it should all unfold, I think most of us would still patchwork our way through to a new stability. But, as uncomfortable as transition is, the beauty and excitement of the future's potential lies within that discomfort and not in the new status quo we eventually reach. That island of "next" we're all swimming towards is one in a never ending chain.

I am rambling and killing metaphors, but what I want to say to all the transitioners out there -- good luck with the swim, I wish you calm seas, cool water, and happy thoughts about your new destination. And my advice, not that I am worthy of dolling it out, is enjoy the peaceful moments as they come and remember they will go away. And they will come again.

Love to you all! Rocky

Disney, Disney, Disney!

2009-05-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well, OK, Louisville and Memphis and Atlanta and Gainesville first. But then Orlando. :) I may be off the grid for a while. My mother doesn't want me to post travel news online for fear my house will be robbed, but I've got to say, I have absolutely nothing worth stealing.

Hopefully, I'll have time to post pictures and occasional updates. Ciao!