Vicarious Rocky

I heard the creator of the Cathy cartoon once say in an interview that it doesn’t matter what size you are -- if you buy a bikini, you still look like a marshmallow in a turnicate. Smaller marshmallow = smaller turnicate. Ah, so true.

I invested in a bikini yesterday at Target (and no kidding there it’s a frickin' investment now that manufacturers have learned to charge for bottom and tops separately!). It would be Smokin’ Hot on Kirsten Dunst. It’s cute and tolerable on me. I plan to go to the pool on my vacation at 8am, before having eaten anything and just after a huge dump. Then I can lie around and pretend to be hot. I have to be laying down in this fantasy, so that the cellulite is against the lounge chair and my arms are stretched above my head.