Vicarious Rocky

The interesting thing about this post is not the video, it's the fact that I am compelled to post it. Seriously, WHY do parents think their children are so cute and unique? Do you know, that YouTube, as of yesterday has 7, SEVEN, uploaded videos of toddlers dancing to this exact same song my son is jumping around too?

I watched four of them and was unmoved. As I watched I thought, "Yeah, kids are cute. Good song." And yet I think you want to see this. Baffling, isn't it? Oh, and crazier still was how unimpressed I was by things like this before I had a child. So, if you don't coo when you see babies, don't even bother to click play.

Blech. Too tired to get anything productive done. Too awake to sleep. Even my magically fluffy couch has failed me. No bought of insomnia is complete without a rambling monologue of crap in your head. My sounded like a whiny laundry list of good and less-good obligations.

I have felt splintered lately. For some reason the Holidays have made this feeling seem important. Somewhere back in August, when life was relatively calm, I got this crazy notion to prioritize the Holidays for the next few years. As in taking time off with Indy to do traditional and fun Christmas crap. The logic there being that these were special years where he would be blissed out and in no way jaded or clued into the distaste of capitalism, holiday group tension, overeating, or the mythical lying that takes place.

Well, it's beginning to look a lot like . . .
I don't have time for this slowed down Norman Rockwell ideal. Sage, always the optimist, is encouraging me to make the time however possible. Hmmmm. I have some time right now! Maybe I should hang some garland. ;)

I never thought I was one of those women who couldn't say "No." You know the type that bake 6 dozen cookies for the PTA fund raiser on the night they also have to stay up to finish the Johnson report for their boss. Turns out I am that chick, but without the boss and the baking. I'm just over here living up to ideals I have in my head about being a good (fill in the blank here with):
- Mother
- Wife
- Business Owner
- Co-worker
- Daughter (in Law)
- Friend
- Neighbor
- Homemaker
- Healthy Person
- uh, uber-Human

You get the jist. And somewhere at the end of that list comes getting to the gym, making a gingerbread house, and shopping for underwear.

I warned you it was a whiny monologue.

Indy kept calling the female doctor, "That Girl." Just like a man.

Good news is he's healthy and right where he should be on the charts! Hooray! Since the beginning he's been about 75th percentile for height and 50th for weight. One visit he dropped to 25th% for weight and they made "a note" in the chart and boy did I feel guilty! But he's back into the 50th range, thanks in large part to Grammy hand feeding him hot dogs, soup, buttered bread, and cake. :)

So, 38 3/4 inches; 32 1/2 pounds. Good vision, good teeth, no autism, still "average" for a boy on Potty Training (he has 3 more months before he's officially late), and no crying for the flu shot or the blood draw. He said repeatedly on the way home, "I love the doctors." Now "That Girl" is a good doctor!

This funny to me. :)

I write my son letters every so often, and I always write one on his birthday, so here is this year's, followed by some pictures:


I must sound like a broken record on these happy birthday letters, but Wow! You’re awesome! Well here’s something new. I LOVE Year Three! I always suspected I would. My fantasies of motherhood were always about precocious toddlers. So, I am on cloud nine because age three is just a dream. You’re having conversations with us, you’re almost always joyful, constantly curious, cute as ever, you have a hilarious sense of humor (both intentional and unintentional), are independent enough to play alone, reasonably opinionated, and still cuddly. I adore you.



The last three years went fast, of course, but now that you’re three, and I see how lovely you are -- Well, I realize how difficult things were when you were younger. Sage and I were talking about how for the first 18 months we either had to be holding you or staring at you for every waking hour. Oh my is that oppressive. Only now that I can listen to you play in another room do I realize how much work that was! I’ve got it so easy.

You used to cry a lot. As a baby, of course, and then as a young toddler who couldn’t communicate. But now we just talk. You still get upset, but I always know why and we can always work it out easily. Did I mention I love you at three? People tell me these preschool years are dreamy. So I am counting my blessings and enjoying every day I have with you as much as possible. I hope to take lots of time to be with you before you go off to school. Luckily I can. I have a crazy good life and am so happy. I hope you’re happy too.

I love my job. Stay tuned for other Will It Fan chapters.

We took the DISC test at work today and this is the 5th or 6th time in my life I've taken one of these tests and the results are the same every time. So that says something about accuracy anyway. I am always the analytical, cautious, diplomatic, introvert. In fact, DISC has like 16 "Classical Patterns" and this is me. Big surprise.

What does change is my reaction and feelings about the data. When I was young I wished I was more creative and influential. Then for a while there I was crazy proud of my results. Now it just is who I am. Sort of a "Yeah, yeah" feeling.

I definitely value contributions from people from the other quadrants now. I can't say that was always the case. And they can still occasionally annoy the shit out of me. But I get it. They're as essential in an organization and society as I am. I think it took me a while to realize this because American workers are judged and rewarded based on D and C qualities for sure. I notice that leaders seem to be those types of people.

So, the more emmersed I was in that world, the more I tended to value those styles by default. I do believe though that these personality types are most useful in traditional top down organizations that don't place much value on the humanity of their workplace. That has made companies profitable in the past, but I don't think it makes sense as a long term solution for society. That's not to say I think it will change in the next 50 years, but those lifeless giant non-sustainable corporations should be a thing of the past in 100 years, I would think.

Anyway, I'm a C. Sage is an I. That would be the opposite style. That's why we make an excellent team! I think I need to spend more time with the S's. I don't know a lot of S's. What are you?