Vicarious Rocky

We're booked on Continental Express. They're these tiny little planes that you cannot stand up in if you're over 5'8". So Joe nicknamed our male flight attendant -- Shorty McHere'sYourDrink. Travelling with Joe is very fun.

I Love highways. They're so American -- three lanes of speed and heavy metal and intention. The best thing about them is how optimistic they seem. Today, riding in the back seat through St. Louis, I saw an exit to a highway running North and South and the signs said "North to Chicago" and "South to Memphis."

I just love that those seem like the only options. Great asphalt pathways to great destinations. Everyone is taking their big car off to big places, right? If I were a tour guide in charge of sharing the U.S. experience, I'd pack everyone into air conditioned sedans and head in the direction with the most promising exit signs.

• They Like Me! They Really LIKE Me!
• Joe is amazingly gifted at predicting how people look.
• Meat, meat meaty meatness. Should be on the license plate: "Missouri: Land of Meat."
• Joe has a T-shirt I need to buy: "Missouri Loves Company"
• Star Wars is on TV. Vadar just choked that dude: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."
• I could watch Star Wars indefinitely. On an endless loop. While people bring me Mac and Cheese and Ben & Gerry's to eat. That's all I need for an eternity of bliss.

At least when I try and fly in.

I am right now supposed to be backing out of the gate and getting down the tarmac so I can take off and get over to St. Louis. Instead I'm waiting because my flight has been delayed. Waiting in the barely air conditioned Gate C25 (which Joe appropriately nicknamed C7000 [VERY far from many things]) . I NEVER go to St. Louis without some annoying snafoo. Why has it been delayed an hour? Who knows? Not snow like my last 2 flights. But something. Tornado? Terrible storms?

I'm totally over you St. Louis. You're so not worth it.

Well, $9 later and I own a skateboard, 2 walkie talkies, a little tykes oven, 10 match box cars, three home-made thank you notes, 3 Chuckie Cheese balls, an 18 wheeler die cast truck, a Mickey Mouse stuffed animal, and a Richard Scarey book.

The word detective tells me the name "flea market" has two sources. I'm going to quote him here because the link to the page doesn't take you to the flea market question.

"According to etymologist Christine Ammer, the first "flea market" may have been New York's raucous Fly Market, a fixture in Lower Manhattan from before the American Revolution until around 1816. The "Fly" came from the Dutch name for the market, "Vly" or "Vlie," which meant "valley," and was pronounced, you guessed it, "flea." Voila, "flea market." Maybe.

However, while the Fly Market certainly existed, and its name was evidently indeed pronounced "flea market," the actual origin of the term most probably lies in Paris, where Le Marche aux Puces (literally, "market of the fleas") was a popular shopping venue. Le Marche aux Puces took its name, as you might have guessed by now, from the semi-humorous (and probably at least partly accurate) popular perception that the market's ragtag goods were more than likely to be infested with fleas."

Tuesdays and Thursdays I hang out with Indy and try not to have to work and it ROCKS. So yesterday I pimped out my back yard with forth of July paraphernalia, rearranged for summer fun (space for the pool, arts and crafts area for finger paint, moved grill for lots of access to that, etc.), weeded and cut the yard, and cleaned generally. I was also able to put a layer of bleach on every surface in the bathroom. Oh, yeah, and the kid and I had lots of fun too. We watched a storm on our porch for a long time, grocery shopped, played race cars a lot, went for a swing.

But now, it's Friday, and that means I have to make serious headway on my presentation I'm doing next Thursday. I have to get at least 70% done today because I've got an afternoon meeting on Monday, Wednesday is getting booked up, plus the flight out is Wednesday afternoon. And Tuesday I'd like to spend with Indy, since I'll be gone for 2 1/2 days. Hmmm. Maybe I need a sitter Tuesday. Maybe I can also do a lot of the presentation this weekend.

I am SO spoiled. I remember thinking while I was in school that I would never bitch about work because:
a) It's 9-5 -- not all that demanding
b) It doesn't require any serious brain power
c) I could always do a little work on weekends or nights (as you do constantly in college)
d) I will be getting PAID

Well, all of the above is still true, but I guard my nights and weekends like a pit bull. And my brain is so mushy now that this presentation does feel like I have to break out my brain.

As for the 9-5 and payment, I am so incredibly lucky on these fronts, I try and remember to be grateful every damn day. Which means stopping bitching about my presentation in this blog. :)

I'd say it's going to make my top 5 list. There was so much I didn't get to do in my 2 days there, which sounds like a dumb thing to say, but you should have seen what I got packed into that 48 hours. We even made a stop in Niagra. Crazy.

In other news, I may need to switch my phone over to a Motorola. I'll know more on that by the end of July.

Never Right? Well, when he's pooping mustard for 2 days and then suddenly has a 3 hour nap, I start to worry a bit. He'll live, I'm sure. But I feel bad for the poor bugger. And it's his cousin's birthday party. Bad day to feel and be shitty.

I used to drink Gin and Tonics and had to stop because I got SO Fucking Mean on them. I had that nice hatred today for a couple of fellows who will only be named the HUGEST douche-bags West of Lake Michigan.

Dear Douche-men,
We're done being your RFP bitches. You're right. Snow Boot was SO awesome, I think YOU should hire him and find out how amazing he is first hand.

Fuck You Very Much,
Rocky

OK, I'm done now.

Seriously. Why are the exit signs (for exits off the bridges) both 2 feet from the actual exit and posted within the steel rafters of the bridge therefore making them impossible to read until the car is under the sign and exiting the bridge -- usually using the wrong exit, thank you.

Indy is doing this really cute thing now where he says, "We'll do (fill in fun activity here) after later." At first I was concerned he thought it would always be the next activity on our list, but now I realize he's just reassuring himself that the time for "awesome activity #22," for example, will come around someday, so he need not panic. He's been really getting the concept of having a future full of potential fun. And he can envision lots of fun in a day. Here is a list of things he wanted to do (or keep doing) today, but settled on doing "After Later."

• Read his new book
• Play in the car
• Eat a donut
• Grocery shop
• See Dad
• Swing on the porch
• Watch Dune Buggy videos
• Watch his Monster Truck video
• Eat Popcorn
• Go to Chucky Cheese's
• Take the Escalator
• Go for a walk
• Pee on the potty (that one was interesting)
• Watch Nemo (he doesn't even know what that is)
• Go back to the pool
• Play at the park