OK, he's smart, he's cute-ish, good sense of humor, and they have great conversations. I am trying to be supportive, but I want to go bash this guy's head in. I do NOT understand the power he is having over my beloved girlfriend. It's causing me to say really useless things to her akin to "Move on and Get over it," but I am attempting to put it in more tactful and useful ways. Unfortunately, she's been taking lots of risks lately and failing. That is not the American narrative. So my "pull yourself up from your bootstraps" love advice is really pretty shitty.
Of course, I am only getting one side. I am biased. But I am pretty sure that if she can get over this momentary physical attraction, she can find someone else who laughs at her jokes and has great intellectual conversations with her.
It seems to me that if she was a man, her history of loves would bring her confidence instead of insecurity. Even though she doesn't believe it, I am confident that her next love will come and be more amazing than this one. I can't wait to meet him.
Of course, I am only getting one side. I am biased. But I am pretty sure that if she can get over this momentary physical attraction, she can find someone else who laughs at her jokes and has great intellectual conversations with her.
It seems to me that if she was a man, her history of loves would bring her confidence instead of insecurity. Even though she doesn't believe it, I am confident that her next love will come and be more amazing than this one. I can't wait to meet him.
1 Comments:
Maybe this girl should be looking for women like you!
I've heard a lot of good advice recently about the relationship between grief and love. What if this girl is looking for ways to access her grief by falling in love with people who make her feel pain so that she has a reason to cry? Crazy, I know, but it's just a thought.
I'm glad your sticking by your friend. She definitely needs people who will help her support her and offer her the venue to practice putting up the boundaries that make love all the more possible. Helping her say "no" and still be there. I know I am afraid of being strong and people running away on me (part of that gender shit you mention).
I am sure that your anger helps her be angry--and if she can stay with her anger and let it teach her something, then maybe something else will happen.
How one "stays with anger," I have no idea. Any suggestions?
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