Vicarious Rocky

Yes, Steven and I failed dressing up. Joanna did give me a rolled up piece of paper to hold so that I could be, "Rocky Mountain High." She's that clever all the time. Speaking of clever, Joe is "Gay's Anatomy;" Joanna is the Pulp Fiction hottie; if you don't know what Kate is, I can no longer speak to you; Nate is our Viking; Brian is Fozzie Bear; Jenilee is Glenda the Good Witch (in High School Musical garb [is that right Jeni?); Sage is "Gluttony;" Greg is the invisible man. And sweet Daisy May is a Piggie.

Why would a three year old like an interview with some random dude about a rebuilt imported car from an 80s movie? It's 6 1/2 minutes long. While highly informative about this way fringe topic, it is dull by all accounts. My son quotes this video: "What's the speed limit out here?"
"Let's go for a ride!"

The bag of Bass Bait that we got for $1.97 at Dicks Sporting Goods came with 12 of these worms. But, thanks to careful eavesdropping, we learned that they all only have one name -- Debbie.

Debbie is, in fact, one omnipresent worm -- lying around and available for fun in every room. Debbie can ski jump, race cars, interact with cats, take naps, read books, and, of course, swim in any glass of water.

An important aside: My son does not know anyone named Debbie. I have NO idea how this Bass Bait became female or personified, let alone Debbie-fied.

Birthday weekend is a quickly fading memory, but that's what pictures are for! All days that weekend were divine, but Sunday was especially lovely. Here is a quick pictorial.

I turned 34 today. How do I feel about that? Ambivalent. I am mostly pleased I’m not dead and not turning 35. Aside from the numbers, I really like birthdays. Maybe it was my happy childhood, but I manage to feel special on my birthday even though there are 6.5 billion people on earth.

Sage and I are a bit nutty in that birth"day"s are birthday weekends at our house. So, you get to be in charge of a whole 3 days at least. I went out with the Lewis’ to buy new kitchen dishes on Saturday. Then ate out with Sage Saturday night. Indy, Sage, and I had a traditional pancake breakfast at home on Sunday morning. After that we walked around Stan Hewet’s gardens and the tree house exhibit they have now. Then we napped, did yard work, played outside, ate at Skyline Chili, and puttered around Barnes and Noble. It was a dream weekend.

Today, I am doing virtually nothing at our local coffee shop. I have two books next to me that I haven’t cracked open. Two writing projects I haven’t touched. And much work I am refusing to do. It’s good to be me.

Feeling like a bad mother today. We went to a free music class this morning and the kids went into the classroom without the Moms. I was pretty positive that wouldn't fly. Sure enough, she closed that door and I heard a shriek, "Maaaamyyyyy." And out runs my son hanging off my shirt and sobbing desperate crocodile tears, "I want to read a story. I want to go home." Which were the two things we had been doing prior to the class.

My mother was there and she calmed him down and sat with him so they could watch the class through the glass door together. He wouldn't go back in of course. But in the 15 minutes we sat there, two of the children left class to use the Potty by themselves.

So, to wrap it up, I have a completely unsocialized, insecure boy who still shits his pants. This does not resonate well with me. I don't blame Indy at all. I really feel I am failing to present the right situations so that he can reach these 3-year-old milestones within an acceptable timeframe.

Most days, I live in the moment, am blissful, and realize I don't want to hurry his life along. Today I got bummed out about it all.

Sage's camera hobby is really handy. We were originally going to take pictures of the kids and then we turned it into a family fall shoot. I think they came out great! This one is my favorite of everybody.

Then there are 1000 pics of the kids. Here are two of my favorites:


And then I liked these three action shots:

They’ve learned their lesson. They let their digital camera prototype sit on a shelf and focused on film until everyone on earth stopped buying it. But now, they have seen the future, and it has limitless opportunity. And that future is . . . commercial print.

Are they high?

All of Jeff Hayzlett’s comments about digital marketing were used only in relation to how they integrate with the ever dominant, not-to-change-soon world of B2B print. In the same breath, he speaks of the dying broadcast industry with no sense of irony.

The examples he gave of print’s ongoing evolution were laughable. He spoke of the exciting upcoming opportunity to put personally targeted advertising directly on my billing statements. Like a dreamy paper version of Amazon, I will be wowed when my car payment invoice comes to me with a picture of my exact car on it. But will that impress me more than when Papa John’s sends me a postcard coupon with a picture of my favorite pizza on the front of it? He goes on to tell me that the excitement of going to the mailbox will never die. The key is to get the messaging personalized and in front of me on the mail I value.

Problem is, he seems to lack any insight about my generation’s opinion of mail. You see, I don’t get paper statements in the mail. I pay my bills online. And Papa John’s already sends me an email every two weeks of their latest coupon, and when I click through my email, it takes me to my personal page that auto-fills my pizza ingredients, and then I complete my order online. See how that doesn’t involve ink?!?

Most telling was the PPT slide with a timeline, which ended at the digital age and showed the timeline bar above it like ¼ filled in, implying we have many years to come here in the glorious digital age. Lack of vision killed this company and that slide seriously lacks vision. How long does this guy think the digital age will last as he knows it; as this little monkey sidekick to print?

But hey, you speed into the 21^st century however you see fit. Oh, and good luck with that semantic image matching technology you have patented. What database of pictures will you be leveraging this on exactly? There’s my super profitable “My Pictures” folder. Don’t forget my Kodak “Easy” (if you know my password) Share. Or will you just be selling that patent to Google?

I am not sure that this is the first dream I remembered as a child, but it is the first one I remember remembering, if that makes sense. It was a nightmare, and I was eaten by an alligator. This morning, Indy told me, for the first time ever, about a dream.

The conversation went like this:

Me: “How’d you sleep?”
Indy: “There were fireworks!”
Me: “When?”
Indy: “My dreaming.”
Me: “You dreamt about fireworks?”
Indy: (Nodding Yes and moving arms) “There were lots of pretty colors!”
Me: “Really?”
Indy: “Like pink and blue and green.”

I am so happy that the first dream he ever verbalized was about something as wonderful as fireworks.

Imagine you had been told what to do for 2.5 years straight by one person. One totally righteous, in-charge, SOB who thinks she knows EVERYTHING. She knows what's hot, what's cold, what's dangerous, what's not scary, what's fun, what's appropriate, what's funny, what's for breakfast lunch and dinner, when it's bedtime, bath time, snack time, walk time, nap time, play time, clean up time.

Considering this, you'd think he'd kill me in my sleep, but instead he's just telling me what shoes I need to wear (strappy, high-heeled sandals and not running shoes) and how to push a stroller (two hands at all times). He also likes to follow most things I say with, "No." and then proceeds to tell me exactly the same thing I said either with or without a slight twist. As in:

R: "I think that squirrel is eating a nut."
I: "No! He's eating a peanut."
R: "Ah right, my bad."

It’s a bit late, but I wanted to say Happy Birthday. Thirty five sure was a big year, but, as usual, you handled it with style and optimism.

Another year of being a great Dad and a supportive husband. Another year kicking ass in the “decade of work,” but we had plenty of fun too. We went to Disney world, saw Indy spaz out over the Easter Bunny and egg coloring, made some new friends and spent time with old ones, bought a second car and a snowblower, and you made great headway on that emergency supply kit.

Work sure has been a triumph this year. You’ve spent the last 12 months developing as a leader, honing in on your vision, and making shit happen.

I cannot wait to see what you do with year 36. I know no matter what you decide to pursue, you’ll dive and tackle and do it smiling. You truly amaze and inspire me.

Here’s to another great year!

All my Love,
Rocko