Blech. Too tired to get anything productive done. Too awake to sleep. Even my magically fluffy couch has failed me. No bought of insomnia is complete without a rambling monologue of crap in your head. My sounded like a whiny laundry list of good and less-good obligations.
I have felt splintered lately. For some reason the Holidays have made this feeling seem important. Somewhere back in August, when life was relatively calm, I got this crazy notion to prioritize the Holidays for the next few years. As in taking time off with Indy to do traditional and fun Christmas crap. The logic there being that these were special years where he would be blissed out and in no way jaded or clued into the distaste of capitalism, holiday group tension, overeating, or the mythical lying that takes place.
Well, it's beginning to look a lot like . . .
I don't have time for this slowed down Norman Rockwell ideal. Sage, always the optimist, is encouraging me to make the time however possible. Hmmmm. I have some time right now! Maybe I should hang some garland. ;)
I never thought I was one of those women who couldn't say "No." You know the type that bake 6 dozen cookies for the PTA fund raiser on the night they also have to stay up to finish the Johnson report for their boss. Turns out I am that chick, but without the boss and the baking. I'm just over here living up to ideals I have in my head about being a good (fill in the blank here with):
- Mother
- Wife
- Business Owner
- Co-worker
- Daughter (in Law)
- Friend
- Neighbor
- Homemaker
- Healthy Person
- uh, uber-Human
You get the jist. And somewhere at the end of that list comes getting to the gym, making a gingerbread house, and shopping for underwear.
I warned you it was a whiny monologue.
1 Comments:
Hey Rocko!
That's a good post. In my leadership-class obsession the latest wisdom that has really stuck with me is: "People don't align." You can't align others and you can't align yourself. i.e., it's impossible to consistently move away from things. You can only move towards things. The trick is to allow yourself the selfishness to do what you want.
The theory goes, the more you just do what you want, all the other stuff will just fade away.
But here's a noodle twister... once you have decided to move towards a positive emotional attractor you then have to go back, every once in a while, to the negative emotional component (alignment) to get it done.
The ratio I'm hearing is 5 or 6:1. 1 negative for every 6 positive.
All that said, you are by far, with out a doubt, the best mother, wife and business partner I could ever have hoped to come across.
I love you so much!
:)
Post a Comment
<< Home