Vicarious Rocky

Holly was talking with me yesterday about a person she knows with an odd combination of personality flaws. He is, in her estimation highly insecure with low esteem and also incredibly narcissistic, which seems counter intuitive, but I think I've seen that pattern in others as well. And in myself too at times, although I like to think I am introspective enough to eclipse the narcissism most days. Or is that sentiment narcissistic? ;)

I know I definitely battle the low esteem issue, and I think a lot of women do. But for me it's not crippling so much as ridiculous. I have been noting how this manifests itself in humorous ways, and I have started this "You deserve to" mantra to help myself in weird times where low esteem crops up.

Examples:

When I make diet pudding pie, I serve it to myself messily with a fork and knife while my pie server waits patiently in the drawer for a better pie and company at the house. Prompting me to say, "You deserve to use the pie server."

I have one of those razors where you swap out the head when it gets dull, and I tend to do that after it starts to cut me. "You deserve a sharp razor every, say, 2 weeks"

I also have disposable contacts I change a week late, I never deserve artichokes or deli items at the grocery, I save using glass cups for when others come over (otherwise I drink out of these shit plastic ones), I never shower until the hot water is gone, I save my Swiffer wet jet pads for special floor cleaning occasions and always re-wet them.

You get the idea. Send your Tony Robbins DVDs to . . . PO BOX . . . :)