Vicarious Rocky

I haven't been on a real vacation -- like where you get on a plane and go somewhere far away and don't also see a client -- for, like, 3 years! We're taking our kid to Disney World. It was a plan I was not really keen on since he's only 2 1/2, and I felt that he was too young to squander Disney-type cash. But what I've come to realize is that if you're going to bother to take your toddler on vacation, and you want to have a nice vacation yourself, then you have to go somewhere that the kid will love and find constantly entertaining. Otherwise, he'll be hanging on you bitching while you're trying to relax on some beach or be enlightened at a museum.

I imagine at Disney, when my kid starts acting up at some buffet breakfast, I won't get the "You and your freaky screaming monkey stop ruining my brunch" look. I will instead get the, "Oh, so sorry, mine did that yesterday" look. When my kid starts melting down in the Dumbo ride line, I can direct him to the shaded area where other mother's are wrestling with dehydrated, angry children. Even if the food is crap and the atmosphere is screaming-monkey saturated -- as a toddler parent, I find these scenarios 1000 x more relaxing than the most adult tranquil vacation spot.

I think the fact that I'm harboring these beliefs, and I'll be awake at 7am every day on vacation, confirms that I am OLD.