OK, so I kind of FREAKED out yesterday with Indy. It all began, really 2 weeks ago, when he took a high level of interest in the Curious George story, "Curious George goes to the Hospital." George thinks a puzzle piece is candy, swallows it, and then goes to the hospital and proceeds to have a grand old time. I adore the stories, but honestly, H.A. Rey must not have fully appreciated the power of suggestion to toddlers.
Anyway, my kid's been putting everything in his mouth now and it gets a rise out of me, of course, so he thinks it's awesome to put coins and rubber bands and pen caps and all kinds of random shit in his mouth. If you're sitting there thinking, "well, keep that stuff away from him, idiot," then I'll send a three year old to your house this weekend and you can try to keep real world items out of his reach.
OK, so he wakes up Saturday morning and tells me his tummy hurts. I figure he's constipated and feed him tons of fruit. Then he gets a fever and gets kind of listless and wants to take a nap. "How's your tummy, still hurt?" He says yes, again, don't forget the power of suggestion. He wakes up after 40 minutes in bed screaming for me. Not normal. So I run upstairs and he's standing up shaking uncontrollably like a leaf, sobbing, saying, "No. No. Maaaammmmmyyyy."
So I proceed to take him into my bed and grill him like a Guantanamo Bay detainee. "Did you eat anything special? Different? Something like Curious George would eat?" He's just laying there totally exhausted and wide eyed. And then H.A. Rey's power of suggestion got to me and I begin retelling the story, "Indiana Lewis Goes to the Hospital."
At this point I remembered I had a mother and called her. She proceeded to act as my nurse hotline and talked me off the Curious George inspired ledge.
Does he have color? Yes.
Can you push on his Tummy? Yes.
Did you take his temperature? No, let me get that.
Did he eat today? Yeah, a lot.
Does he have bad dreams? Yeah.
Do you feel stupid and inexperienced yet? Um, yeah totally. OK, kid is now playing happily with the thermometer. I'm gonna go.
Ok, so she didn't say that last one, but it was fairly evident.
Indy is fine now. He has constipation. He has a bad fever. And some kind of snot cold thing.
Anyway, my kid's been putting everything in his mouth now and it gets a rise out of me, of course, so he thinks it's awesome to put coins and rubber bands and pen caps and all kinds of random shit in his mouth. If you're sitting there thinking, "well, keep that stuff away from him, idiot," then I'll send a three year old to your house this weekend and you can try to keep real world items out of his reach.
OK, so he wakes up Saturday morning and tells me his tummy hurts. I figure he's constipated and feed him tons of fruit. Then he gets a fever and gets kind of listless and wants to take a nap. "How's your tummy, still hurt?" He says yes, again, don't forget the power of suggestion. He wakes up after 40 minutes in bed screaming for me. Not normal. So I run upstairs and he's standing up shaking uncontrollably like a leaf, sobbing, saying, "No. No. Maaaammmmmyyyy."
So I proceed to take him into my bed and grill him like a Guantanamo Bay detainee. "Did you eat anything special? Different? Something like Curious George would eat?" He's just laying there totally exhausted and wide eyed. And then H.A. Rey's power of suggestion got to me and I begin retelling the story, "Indiana Lewis Goes to the Hospital."
At this point I remembered I had a mother and called her. She proceeded to act as my nurse hotline and talked me off the Curious George inspired ledge.
Does he have color? Yes.
Can you push on his Tummy? Yes.
Did you take his temperature? No, let me get that.
Did he eat today? Yeah, a lot.
Does he have bad dreams? Yeah.
Do you feel stupid and inexperienced yet? Um, yeah totally. OK, kid is now playing happily with the thermometer. I'm gonna go.
Ok, so she didn't say that last one, but it was fairly evident.
Indy is fine now. He has constipation. He has a bad fever. And some kind of snot cold thing.
1 Comments:
Oh man. That must have been freaky and scary. But it's an absolutely hilarious story.
:)
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