Vicarious Rocky

Is a strange thing. You're embedded in the exciting process of consumerism and charged with finding opportunities. AKA: Selling Shit. And this is the one time of year when every marketer gets to stop apologizing for pushing product, because you consumer, capitalist pigs want it. You want the Black Friday email. You want the scoop on what days that sweater will be the lowest price and you want to buy it right when it's cheapest and right before it's out of stock. Which gives you a false sense of control and power over these large corporations whoring their wares.

But Hah, hah, hah! Jokes on you! Know why? It's December. That's it. That's the only thing that has changed in the relationship between you and the marketer. You love us right now for no other reason than a random and false construct of consumerism with a moral validation called "Holiday Spirit." And bless you for it. Seriously. Because I too embrace this Holiday Spirit facade. It helps me feel less like a Wolf in a fluffy white sweater . . . selling wool eye patches . . . to piggies. They're 2 for a $1, call me.