Sage and I were wrapping Indy's presents last night and they always look kind of pathetic for some reason on the kitchen table (Jeep Hurricane aside), so Sage worried that we were not being generous enough with Indy. Of course, I made fun of him and asked if he wanted to build a new room onto the house for all the toys, since they are literally in EVERY room of the house.
It's so easy to get generosity confused with materialism with kids. They just get so happy when they get stuff. You start to feel like you are in charge of the release button on some kind of joy machine. Maybe I should press it more?!?
I think true generosity with kids is more difficult though. It's playing the game they want to play, the awful boring one, for as LONG as they want to play it.
It's really being present when they talk to you. Like Sage yesterday having a full 5 minute conversation with Indy about a Mouse Indy saw last summer. Then Sage listened and asked great questions as Indy made up elaborate stories about the mouse. The mouse was living in his room and talking to him about mouse friends and cats or something (see I was not "present").
I was a slow, day-dreamy kind of kid, so this is probably just my vision of generosity for that reason . . . but I also think it's generous to give kids the time they need to relax and experience things on their terms. I remember hating a person's hand behind my head guiding me along to the next thing. It can be frustrating and boring as an adult to spend 25 minutes on a walk down one side of a tiny street. But I believe that's the kind of generosity that really lasts.
It's so easy to get generosity confused with materialism with kids. They just get so happy when they get stuff. You start to feel like you are in charge of the release button on some kind of joy machine. Maybe I should press it more?!?
I think true generosity with kids is more difficult though. It's playing the game they want to play, the awful boring one, for as LONG as they want to play it.
It's really being present when they talk to you. Like Sage yesterday having a full 5 minute conversation with Indy about a Mouse Indy saw last summer. Then Sage listened and asked great questions as Indy made up elaborate stories about the mouse. The mouse was living in his room and talking to him about mouse friends and cats or something (see I was not "present").
I was a slow, day-dreamy kind of kid, so this is probably just my vision of generosity for that reason . . . but I also think it's generous to give kids the time they need to relax and experience things on their terms. I remember hating a person's hand behind my head guiding me along to the next thing. It can be frustrating and boring as an adult to spend 25 minutes on a walk down one side of a tiny street. But I believe that's the kind of generosity that really lasts.
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